Elixir of hope, strength, and joy

This photo is a big improvement - all four paws are on the ground, including the one with an amputated toe! K seems to be in less pain today, which lightens my heart a bit.

I wonder what dogs think about pain. I have pain every single day, and that's been true for 20 years due to my degenerating spine. For years, I fought to annihilate the pain. I thought that if I could find the right doctor with the magical solution, s/he could make me pain-free forever.

Those years were unhappy because I was seeking something that I could never find. Since then, I've adopted a "mindfulness" attitude toward my pain. I note it. I catalog it to see if it's anything new or alarming. If it's familiar pain, I just let it be. It accompanies me all the time, on bike rides, hikes, naps, during blogging - literally all the time - but I no longer fight it. This attitude has turned around my life, literally, from one of running from or battling with pain to seeing it as an integral part of my life.

I wonder what K thinks about it? She's been resting a lot and seems subdued but not upset. I think that she's just laying low and healing. I doubt that she dwells on the pain.

On our walk this morning, she seemed more engaged with me and with the forest than yesterday, alert and noting the scents and sounds. I love our little morning strolls. It's just me and my sweet chocolate girl, walking side-by-side, and investigating the nuances of our forest.

After my walk with K, I headed out for snowbiking. It's a whole new season of rolling through white powdery stuff rather than over packed dirt. One of my wildlife cams caught a photo of me descending a steep and snowy slope. I just placed this cam in this new spot because no one but me and the animals visits this area in the snow of winter!

Another wildlife camera captured a magpie. Someone mentioned that they'd never seen one before my photographs yesterday. This photo accentuates the magpie's most distinctive feature - a tail that is longer than his body.

Then, last night, a mule deer buck peeked into the same clearing. Based on some quick research on mule deer antlers, that buck's pair is impressive! He didn't stay long - he just peeked and ran - probably chasing a doe!

Today on my snow bike ride, I repeated some of the same paths as yesterday to take advantage of my packed down tracks. I was the only one, aside from wildlife, who had marred the smooth untracked snow since last week. I love peace and solitude, and I can find plenty of it here.

The animals also like my packed down path. A mule deer fawn, with precious tiny hooves, walked in my snowbike track that skirted a meadow of golden grass weighted down by snow.

Deeper in the forest, a bobcat had marched carefully within my snowbike tracks. Not only do these animals save energy by walking in my snowbike track, they also carefully place each hind paw exactly where the front paw already packed the snow. That careful stepping means that they only have to sink into the snow once, with the front paw.

In honor of today's special moment of reflection, I include this photo of K from July when we stood on the cusp of a towering mountain summit. K eagerly waited to tackle the rock obstacle ahead of her. When I finally released her, she leaped onto the next boulder with undeniable joy. May all of us who face terrifying obstacles in our lives find a potent elixir of hope, strength, and yes, even joy, to help us negotiate them.

A winter day

K awakened happy and hopeful but seemed sore once she started moving.

We went for our short stroll in the forest this morning. A flock of nuthatches was singing from pointy tops of the pine trees, to my surprise.

K seemed tired. I wasn't surprised because I was as sluggish as a hibernating bear. The stress of the past week had sapped the last of my energy, and I wasn't even the one who had surgery. That girl kept closing her eyes while we were outside - perhaps starting to doze.

Out in the bright sun of the meadow, K perked up, surveying her domain.

Despite my fatigue, I took advantage of the Runner being home to keep K company, leaving me free to head out for a long snowbike ride. One trail wended along a contour on a canyon wall. Sun never touches it in the winter so it looked and felt arctic.

Later in my ride, I emerged onto a sun-bathed ridge where the sunniest areas had melted down to dirt. I enjoyed feeling the sun on my back and working up a sweat.

Alas, my plan of clearing my mind with a long ride didn't work. I feel downtrodden. I'm trying really hard not to let K know. I'm about to curl up with her for a snooze.

Earlier this week, I wrote about a red fox carcass that my friend and I found cached under a pine tree, probably by the mountain lion who killed him. When we visited the site, we also saw signs that a bear had fed upon the fox - so at least one bear is still awake! I placed a wildlife camera pointed at the carcass to see who visited. Alas, too little meat remained to attract the big carnivores. However, corvids, birds that scavenge on dead animals, spent the next three days at the site.

A pair of magpies stayed almost all day every day. One of them always served as the "watchbird", perching on a branch just above the kill and cawing when anyone came nearby. Meanwhile, the other magpie gorged upon the fox. After a while, they'd switch positions. They sometimes interacted during the switch. My camera never captured a perfect photo of it but I believe that the one who was just eating fed some meat to the one descending from the perch. Magpies mate for life so I'm guessing that this is a bonded pair.

Later, a single raven swooped in. Ravens are like gigantic crows. The raven picked up the forelimb of the fox and, to my astonishment, flew away while carrying it. I'm guessing that the leg weighed as much as the raven.

When I arrived on the scene to pick up my camera, I spotted the leg resting on a downed tree about 4' off the ground. I guess that's where the raven chose to sit and feed on it.

Another winter day passed... and another day with my K. I'm hoping that her discomfort starts abating soon. She's now in an E-collar because she keeps licking her bandage. It makes me sad to see my poor girl in pain.