A peaceful glow

K and I headed out for our mountain romp this morning, running atop a melted layer of snow that fell the other night. It's a true "spring snow", and is already completely melted this afternoon.

I felt an unexpected peacefulness throughout our ride this morning. My heart was overwhelmed with gratitude for the happiness that K has brought to my life. I didn't expect to feel this way today, after our news yesterday. I expected a very heavy heart and a sad mood.

It felt to me as if a glow of warm light followed us everywhere as I rode and K ran through our favorite parts of the forest. I kept taking breaks to hug K.

I've learned through K's illness and other losses that, for me, there aren't really "stages" of grief. "Stages" implies that a person progresses forward in an orderly way from one stage to the next, until they eventually reach a peaceful acceptance. My experience is that I tend to jump among the "stages" while I'm dealing with a loss. So, the fact that I felt peaceful acceptance today doesn't mean that I'll feel that way tomorrow.

But, for today, I simply loved being with my girl and her wonderfully happy brother.