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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

A peaceful glow

K and I headed out for our mountain romp this morning, running atop a melted layer of snow that fell the other night. It's a true "spring snow", and is already completely melted this afternoon.
I felt an unexpected peacefulness throughout our ride this morning. My heart was overwhelmed with gratitude for the happiness that K has brought to my life. I didn't expect to feel this way today, after our news yesterday. I expected a very heavy heart and a sad mood.
It felt to me as if a glow of warm light followed us everywhere as I rode and K ran through our favorite parts of the forest. I kept taking breaks to hug K.
I've learned through K's illness and other losses that, for me, there aren't really "stages" of grief. "Stages" implies that a person progresses forward in an orderly way from one stage to the next, until they eventually reach a peaceful acceptance. My experience is that I tend to jump among the "stages" while I'm dealing with a loss. So, the fact that I felt peaceful acceptance today doesn't mean that I'll feel that way tomorrow.

But, for today, I simply loved being with my girl and her wonderfully happy brother.


  1. I would have to say that I agree with you! The way I felt from day to day, and even minute to minute, was very changeable. I'm glad that today is a good day for both of you!

    And I love that last photo of K and R!

  2. Ah that beautiful "Spring Snow"
    That last picture of the duo is so great.
    I am glad it has been a good day....

  3. What a great picture of the duo! I'm glad today was a good day
    Dachshund Nola

  4. Again...beautiful pictures. I especially loved the last one.

  5. Sweet photographs. We can feel the glow all the way over here. Hope it stays a while.

  6. We feel the glow that you felt too KB! K is at peace in her world of happiness, and it shows in the photos.

  7. Hi Y'all,

    Just stopped to say so happy y'all were happy and peaceful, enjoying today.

    BrownDog's Human

  8. I couldn't agree with you more KB about those dang stages of grief! I think many of them are for the birds....

    You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other each and every day. You're doing what is right for you ~ and that's the way it should be!

    Big hugs to you all.

    Lily Belle

  9. So glad it was a good day for you and for K. I imagine every day is a good day for her - she doesn't have the sense of doom that the rest of us have.
    Tomorrow? Another step in the path. That's all.

  10. That's the way to do it. One happy day at a time. Actually I think any day spent with K has to be a good one.

  11. every day is a good day when the three of you are out there on your adventures
    Benny & Lily

  12. Just love the last photo. Glad you feel peaceful today. I hope there are many more of them.

  13. What a wonderful feeling. We know it can come and go but we're glad you can feel it while K is enjoying a romp in the snow.

    The Florida Furkids and Lexi

  14. KB....
    Hi, I am just discovering your blog!! ;-D
    Wow.... This is a heartbreaking post.... Dogs certainly teach us to never take a single second for granted!! ;op
    Love, Raelyn.... And Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!

  15. Ann..from ..THE OUTER BANKS OF NC said...when you were talking about the warmed my spirit with the pleasant thoughts that you share with us..that is why you Live and Love each day with all your heart."SNOW" we don't get too much snow here,unless we get lucky..BUT I LOVE IT I agree the last picture of K and the best.. but I also like the close up of K...Hope YOU K and R have another wonderful day tomorrow

  16. So glad you felt such a warm and peaceful heart today and were able to just be with it and K. I love those days when I feel guided by the light.

    One thing I've learned over and over the grief process is not linear.

  17. One feeling that you might be having is a kind of surrender, in that you know you have done everything you possibly could have done for K and for just this right now, you can feel very good about it.

    The road winds on . . .

    Jo, Stella and Zkhat

  18. It is so good that you really do feel that peace and can enjoy the days that you still have together while K is still so happy and fit. Though you definitely know that with the metastasis in the lungs it might soon change. Hug her as much as you can, she'll understand!
    Love, Tina

  19. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, author and describer of the "Stages of Grief" would explain it just as you did: we move from one to another in a non-orderly way, beginning anywhere and experiencing each stage perhaps over and over again in a non-sequential process throughout the journey. Hopefully the end result is peace, but it can be dynamic throughout life.

    Gratitude for a morning of peace. Gratitude for days felt well. For sunrises with your pup. For nights in comfortable sleep.

    Thinking of you, jeanne

  20. We feel your warm glow too.
    Love Eileen and Annie xx

  21. Amazing that you still have snow now and then.
    K is looking very good. Love the picture with her brother

  22. I am so very glad that you all had a good day today...your pictures are amazing!

  23. Enjoy each day to the fullest and one day at a time. Such gorgeous pictures, KB.

  24. I'm so glad you had the warm and peaceful feeling....too many "heavy" days can wear you down. Think back on them when you have a bad day and know that the peace does return. There are reasons for both - not always for us to understand.

    Sweet pic of the Duo!

    Chester's Mom

  25. LOVE the last picture because, well because it looks like a heart...a heart of LOVE!

  26. I don't always go through the stages in order, and sometimes I totally skip stages. I think it's perfectly normal when you've been through a lot. What matters most are the moments you can smile and feel joy right here, right now.

  27. Gosh, your neck of the woods is gorgeous!


  28. Just love the last photo with their head turned in opposite directions, forming a heart! Snow still?

  29. My experience with grief was just that, an experience that I just took for what is was day to day. You just except that there are good days and bad days and that's okay. There's no rules, it is what it is. I'm so glad you had such a positive heartwarming day with K. Enjoy every moment! Love that last pic!

  30. So happy you and K are able to enjoy these days of grace. It's a roller coaster ride, so treasure the times at the top.

    Jed & Abby

  31. Living for the moment. Every moment is precious. wonderful photos.

    Big Nose Pokes
    The Thugletsx


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