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Thursday, October 17, 2013

Darkness, then Light

Over the past few days, there's been a palpable change in our world. Winter is threatening to overcome autumn and dominate.
It feels like the days of glowing leaves surrounding Shyla are over until next year. I hope that we get a few more this year but I am not optimistic.
For other reasons, my state of mind hasn't been the best either. My neck, which already has a 3 level surgical fusion, is threatening to need another surgery and has been causing me unrelenting arm pain for months. Whenever I reduce the pain meds, the pain grabs my shoulder and squeezes so hard that I could scream. It's frustrating because the last thing I want is another surgery and long recovery. I'm trying "conservative" management but my PT wants me to talk with my surgeon too.

Given this background, I was surprised to feel how my mood lifted over the course of Shyla's and my mountain bike ride this morning. The world seemed to transform as we climbed up toward the clouds in our hills.

As I snapped this photo at the start of our ride, I thought - "that dark sky represents how I feel".
Then, I pedaled and Shyla ran upward through a pine forest. I noticed the sun starting to shine from behind me. Then, I saw Shyla partially glowing in the sunlight but still with shadows on her face.
By the time we summited Hug Hill, the sun was above the cloud bank, and the world looked cheery. When I gazed at the clouds, they had a rainbow in them from the sun behind them.
After hanging out on Hug Hill, we checked a wildlife camera. We had been mooned by a cow elk. I laughed out loud!
It felt to me like the "journey" of our mountain bike ride was telling me not to let the darkness win. When Shyla gazes in my eyes with a beseeching look like she did yesterday, I know that the darkness can never win.


  1. I know you're way ahead of us with the change of season, but when I came out from work tonight, I could really sense the change coming. Guess it doesn't hurt to talk with the surgeon...get all your options.

  2. Nature always lifts our spirits...glad it's helping you.

    Love that elk...BOL!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  3. Keep working that head-tilt, Shyla!

  4. Beautiful post. Sorry to rub it in your face, but Ontario is still gracing us with warm weather and leaves that have yet to change colour and fall.

    Have you tried alternative medicine for your condition? Mayhaps a massage and some acupuncture could alleviate some of your pain. Feel better!

  5. May you feel blue sky and sun all day tomorrow.

  6. Sorry you are in pain but glad you are fighting the darkness!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy and Stanley

  7. Dogs live in the now, and the more people can live like that, the better we all will be. I'm sorry to hear about your neck, that truly sucks! Maybe winter would be a good time for surgery and recovery...if there ever is a good time.

  8. So sorry the pain is continuing. Chronic pain is such a drain and I'm so glad you have Shyla with you. Love the first photograph especially with the golden trees and frosted ones on the mountain.

  9. We are sorry your pain is hurting you and trying to pull at you. We understand pain. We wish all pain would go away- we keep hoping - but it does not happen.
    My mama- not the mommy- but the mama has bad neck and arm pain too- and just talked to a surgeon today....
    a surgeon to find hope.
    Its hard to stop and wait,,,
    We ask for some peace to come to your heart- so you will know what path to take.
    I know pain too- I understand-
    i am healing.

  10. That's right the dark will not, can not over take the light. Praying for growing light to over take you and hope it brings some comfort my friend.

  11. We send soft woos of healing to make you free of pain and sparks of light to remind you that the darkness is always only temporary and yields to the power of the stars and the sun.

  12. Thank you for your words. I really needed to hear them. Sorry to hear of the pain you are in. No, the darkness never wins!

  13. It's amazing how a little quality time with a 4-legged friends can help lift your spirits. Sending some good thoughts your way!

  14. Damn! sorry about the neck shoulder pain. I sure hope surgery is not necessary again so soon. amazing how dogs and a bike can take it away for a while, huh? magic.

  15. I am so sorry your pain has returned with a vengeance. I know from my brief time of non-stop pain from my accident how truly exhausting it is, and I am quite sure mine was no where near what you endure on a daily basis. Wishing for you to find some relief.

  16. So sorry to hear about your pain and the possibility of another surgery.

    Ahahaha - love the cow elk moon!

  17. KB, I know if we have snow then you are probably covered with it. I am not ready at all for winter but my feelings won't stop it. I'm sorry about your neck! So glad that you and Shyla made it out for the ride; you are such a warrior in my book, keep on keeping on!
    Hugs to you today.

  18. Oh, I'm so sorry abouts all that pain! Shoot. I will be sendin' some healin' vibes your way....
    Oh, all these photos are just amazin'!! Ma LOVES the silhouette of Shyla on the boulder!! Wows.
    Thanks for sharin' the beauty!
    Ruby ♥

  19. The silhouette of Shyla is beyond beautiful. We are so sorry for your pain, KB. No, the darkness will never win!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

  20. Your rides into Nature with Shyla help dull your pain for a little while, thank goodness. The lighting in the photos is luminous. Winter has descended in Breckenridge. I believe this snow will stick. Thinking of you.

  21. Mom torn stuffs in her neck a few years ago. She totally understands the pain. Hang in there
    Benny & Lily

  22. H aha , great Picture of the elk.
    Shyla is Lovely as Always!


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