A storm on the horizon

Our K had a love of rose hips from when she was a tiny puppy. She'd stop in patches of wild rose bushes to munch on the rose hip berries all winter long. Alas, I keep thinking of her this year because there are almost no rose hips in her favorite patches due to our long-term drought - she would've been very disappointed. Here's one of the few rose hips that I found.

I remember when K started nibbling on these berries as a playful puppy, and I asked my vet if it was okay. Her reply was that the only danger was that K would scratch a cornea on the thorny stems. Despite our usual bad luck with vet issues, that never happened! Using a macro lens loaned to me by a generous friend, I captured a close look at the details of those thorns. It's amazing how every thorn is different, and how the stem looks like a intricate sculpture when I look at it in detail.

Whenever I'm going through a rough patch, I think of K a lot. With my neck, arm, and hand pain these days, she's been on my mind. But, I've managed to re-focus on who I have here with me now.

I recently took my first close-up photo of Shyla's eye, like I used to do with K's eyes. I adore Shyla's eyes... they're different from K's but glorious in their own way. Notice the shadows of her lashes on her golden eye in the photo below.

R's eyes are harder to photograph up close because they're so dark. But, I love seeing the reflections of our snowy world and of me in them.

And, I love seeing the Duo together, with R so clearly the big brother, watching over his little sister, even though she's a pest sometimes.

Apparently, we're about to get a big storm, with some much-needed snow - up to 20" - but I'll believe it when I see it after this year of storms just missing us. We desperately need to break our drought so I am rooting for a monster storm. Shyla sprinted through our oddly thin layer of snow this morning.

This morning, the clouds were already hovering on our horizon and creeping closer to us, boding well for snow.

What a beautiful world!

P.S. A few new readers have asked about the origin of my spine problems. It's a hereditary condition that is causing my discs to degenerate at "break-neck" speed. I've had several vertebrae in my neck surgically fused and another few fused in my low back region. I usually can manage the pain through lifestyle adjustments but occasionally I go through phases like this one where the pain is almost intractable. This time, I have some carpal tunnel issues on top of the spine issues (hence, the wrist splints) so my nerves are being pinched in two places. Hopefully, if I'm patient, I'll recover without needing more surgery.

Keeping Moving

Hello from one of our local bobcats!

We woke up to snow this morning - a few inches overnight that weighed down the pine boughs.

During our snowbike ride (my first attempt at riding with wrist splints - woo hoo - I knew it could be done!), the snow bombarded us occasionally.

Shyla and I played a few training games. First we played fetch with a ball in the snow.

Then, she made up her own game of "hiding" her ball in the snow and digging it up.

I was so proud of her when she did one of her "commands" outdoors for the first time. I use chemical handwarmers a lot in the winter (for Raynaud's Syndrome), and I drop them in the snow regularly. In the quiet of our house, I taught Shyla to "find" a handwarmer for me, pick it up gently, and bring it to me. Today, I dropped one, and I couldn't find it under the fluffy snow. So, I said "find it" to Shyla, and she instantly went to work, using her nose to find the handwarmer under the snow. To my surprise, she fished it out of the fresh snow and presented it to me in short order. We had a big celebration!

When we arrived home, Shyla curled up for a well-deserved nap. Doesn't she look cozy?

Despite the pain in my neck, arms and hands, I try to keep moving, not allowing myself to become paralyzed by it. I learned yesterday (from delightful EMG and MRI tests) that it's probably caused by nerve impingement at multiple sites from my neck all the way down to my wrists. We're going to start by trying to reduce the pressure at my wrists. So, with wrist splints in place, I headed out for a little more snowbiking while the pups napped.

I stopped for some photos with a fabulous macro lens loaned to me by a friend. What fun! It'll be even more fun when the sun shines again on our snow-covered world.

After many years of pain from my spine, my strategy is always to fight back and keep doing what I love, even when I feel the temptation to give in and wallow in my pain. Even though I find it hard to force myself to get moving some days (like today), it almost always helps. Today was one of those days.

A Glowing Saturday

No news must be good news, right? We haven't heard about R's tests so that's our mantra.

Shyla and I had our normal morning outing, enjoying the sunrise.

We have only about a month left while the sun will hit our little slice of forest right after it rises, creating the magical light that makes her glow. After that, it will rise too far to the north for us to be warmed by its earliest rays. That's part of why I take advantage of every sunrise that I can in the winter.

This morning, we played retrieving games at sunrise. Shyla will retrieve almost anything now. She's even willing to hold a few metal things which is a big step forward. I'm working so hard on this because of my spine problems. After my spine surgeries, K acted as my "service dog" picking up things from the ground and low shelves and handing them to me. If my doctors are right, I'm not done with spine surgeries so I'm working on getting Shyla ready ahead of time.

Indeed, I've been having some serious issues with my neck, creating numbness, tingling, and lots of pain in my hands. I thought that it was improving but I was unable to sleep, yet again, last night due to hand pain. So, it's time to see my spine doctors. Hopefully, it's something that can be treated conservatively rather than with surgery. For new readers, I already have 2 sections of my spine fused, in my neck and lower back, due to a genetic problem that is causing rapid degeneration of my discs.

Enough of that... here was Shyla playing a retrieving game this morning. I try to make all of our "training" into games so that she loves it.

After my time with Shyla, I headed out to snowbike on my own, and I saw the huge flock of Bohemian Waxwings again. It has been such a treat to have these gregarious and beautiful birds in our forest for the past month. They've been eating juniper berries which are very abundant here.

They all took off at once with the snowy mountains behind them. Ah, gorgeous.

My snowbike ride was easy and warm. I explored for animal tracks and checked some wildlife cameras, which had fun photos on them. I'll share them soon.

Upon arriving home, Shyla was basking in a sun puddle so I had fun with a loaned macro lens taking whisker photos. Aren't a dog's whiskers incredible? Have you ever noticed how they change depending on your dog's mood? If your dog is excited or simply alert, their whiskers stick out. But, if your dog is sleeping or super mellow, the whiskers relax, resting against the snout.

I'm so glad that Shyla seems to like being a model dog for me! We're having such fun together.

Finding Smiles

Life is feeling a little out of control these days - kind of like this photo of Shyla streaking past me during her brief running time.

My spine has decided that it's time to remind me who is boss. It's not me. Rather, it's those fused sections of my spine and the other degenerating parts. My hands are constantly falling asleep, so intensely that they wake me up during the night. And, during the day, my right hand hurts almost all the time. It's not a problem with my hands themselves but rather a problem with the parts of my spine that carry the nerves to my hands.

I had a change in health insurance in the past year, and my new carrier doesn't believe in preventative care. Since my situation is not going to be cured by physical therapy, they won't pay for it. I've finally decided that I'll have to foot the bill. Therapy is better than surgery.

As always, when life feels like it's spiraling out of control, I have a few things that I focus on that make me smile. First, my dogs... and, right now, it's mainly Shyla. I found myself pining for K today, wanting my steady friend next to me again - wanting to recapture the life that we had before K was diagnosed with cancer last Christmas Eve. But then I was reminded of how much Shyla needs me to teach her about the world right now, and it brought me back to the present. I have to remember that she's really still a puppy! We don't have the depth of bond that I had with K but we have tons of potential for one.

In these unsteady times, I also focus on riding my bike. It's still dry and warm here at home but nature has gone to sleep for the winter so the world looks drab - brown grass, no leaves, and almost no snow. Today, I looked back at some of my bike riding photos from Utah. Ah...

Finally, to find my spark of enthusiasm, I never stop searching for new places where our animals like to travel, visit, and mark. I was rewarded with a photo of what I believe is the mother mountain lion who we've been following via trail camera photos. I think that she's moved her "core" area a few miles, and I'm capturing her photo regularly in a new area.

She's an amazing specimen - a big and very strong animal. When I first started this hobby, I'd get a huge surge of adrenaline whenever I saw a lion photo on my trail camera. Now, I look around me to make sure that no one is watching me but I don't feel worried or wired. Instead, I feel honored that I managed to catch glimpse of these elusive animals' lives.

Without our passions in life, how would we get by? We're each unique in what makes us happy but I feel lucky that I've found some things that keep me smiling even when the going gets a little rough.

Six years ago today

Six years ago tonight, I was lying in a hospital bed, oblivious to the world around me. I'd just had a three-level fusion in my lower back, and I was in more pain than I'd thought imaginable. My brother visited me that night, and I have no recollection of it. I was so pumped full of pain medication that I might as well have been knocked out.

I knew that the NCAA basketball tournament would start the day after my surgery, and I thought that I'd watch every game from my hospital bed. Ha! I didn't see a single one. I slept continuously, and, for the brief moments that I was awake, I couldn't keep track of which team was wearing which color.

As the years have gone by, I've realized that the surgery was the best choice that I could've possibly made. It stabilized my spine sufficiently for me to be able to manage the remaining pain if I carefully plan my activities.

With the memory of what happened six years ago, K and I hurried up high to see the sunrise this morning. If I'm capable of using my legs and K is still energetic, we're going to take full advantage of it! The photos above were from before sunrise, and the one below was just as the sun crested the eastern hills.

Due to the clouds, the sunrise was gorgeous orange and purple.

But, due to that cloud cover, we had only a few minutes of the amazing sunrise light before the sun was blocked by the clouds. K glowed during those few quiet minutes.

K was by my side for the whole seemingly endless recovery from the surgery back in 2006. At first, I couldn't limp further than a hundred yards without bursting into tears from the pain. And, after the Runner had no choice but to go back to work, K refused to leave my side for anything. She was an amazing friend during that phase.

It was 3 months before I was allowed to ride in a car and even longer before I was allowed to drive the car. At the 6 month mark, I was finally allowed to try riding a bike... Everyone who knew me laughed at the thought that the doctor had no idea what a force he'd unleashed when he said that I could "try riding a bike". I think that I rode a bit more than he had in mind! But, it's been the best spine therapy imaginable...

So, today, I remember how the Runner, our yellow lab S, and my chocolate K all rallied to get me through that very tough time (R wasn't born yet). I'm a very lucky person.

I must end by apologizing for not visiting many blogs. I've had an eye infection for more than a week, and now I'm awaiting the results of the culture that they did to find the right antibiotic for it (the "standard" antibiotic didn't work). Until I can start new antibiotics targeted for my infection, I'm just going to have to suffer with it. It definitely limits how long I can use my computer.

Stinkers everywhere!

I've suddenly been getting lots of visits from stinkers at my trail cameras. I've never photographed a skunk before the past two months. The one shown below is the classic striped skunk that most of you know.

We also have spotted skunks.

This is a view that you never want to see in person! Thank goodness that he didn't spray my camera.

I've had a stinker of a few days with the news about my spine degeneration depressing me immensely. Before deciding what to do about the serious lumbar spine degeneration, I'm getting an MRI of the entire length of my spine. Having the big picture might help with decisions.

I've really needed the sunny mornings in the golden aspen groves to keep me sane. Even when I feel down and simply exhausted from the never-ending saga of my spine, I go out and seek my happiness. After shaking off a few yawns, K and I usually end up happy to be outdoors and together.

When I dive into one of the golden aspen groves on my mountain bike, it feels like I've entered an alternative universe. I took this photo while rolling along on my bike so it's slightly out of focus. I wanted you to feel what it's like to ride fast through an aspen grove in autumn.

I desperately wanted to take K to visit these groves but I made a mistake a few days ago. I let K go across her agility teeter-totter, and she did it with far more verve than I expected. She came off the teeter-totter holding her 3-toed paw off the ground in pain. I thanked my lucky stars that the paw pain seemed to abate quickly, and one dose of Rimadyl had her galloping around like a puppy the next morning.

So, thanks to that good luck, we visited the grove together! You can barely see her ahead of me on the trail in the next photo.

We also gazed at a spectacular view of storm clouds over the craggy peaks of the Divide, all accented by golden aspens.
For me, the natural world is a soothing balm for my soul. I feel so lucky to have this beauty all around me. This was the sunset that the Labraduo and I saw within an hour of my depressing doctor's appointment. Woo!

The joy is in the journey

Sprinting out the door and actually making it up to our viewpoint before sunrise is getting harder and harder. Longer days... I love them but I shall miss most sunrises when they are too early for this sluggish coffee hound.

Based on our early morning snow bike rides together, I have an impression that K has made a leap in her recovery from the long bone infection ordeal. For a while, she seemed like a shadow of her usual self. For the past few days, she's been scrambling among boulders, sprinting, and playing with an abandon that shouts that the ordeal is history.

One thing that remains is that she gained lots of gray in chocolate fur. I did too.

Although she has a predilection for action now, she still likes to stop and soak up the sun.

Out on the trails, she lives in the moment - running hard, sniffing carefully, and rolling in the snow. When we're in the forest, we generally have no destination. We are simply enjoying being in nature together. The joy is in the journey and not in a goal.

Although sometimes it might look like I'm pedaling hard to get someplace fast, that's usually not the case. In my dreams, I'd love to race bikes again someday. My bike racing days came to an abrupt halt when I ruptured a disc during a race in my early twenties. So, I know that a return to racing will never happen - my spine precludes it.

Now, I read about ultra-long distance snow bike races (like the Iditarod going on now) and mountain bike races, and I get these wild ideas that I should throw common sense to the wind and compete again. But then I remember - I'd be risking everything if I raced because I'm incapable of doing anything halfway - especially in a competitive atmosphere. I can't risk my precious early morning rides with K and my sunset hikes with the Duo. No way. I'll simply enjoy what I can do, here and now.

Now, I ride at a pace that lets me notice the small bits of beauty, like these purple catkins on a small tree growing next to a frozen creek.

One of my recent sunset hikes with the Duo featured spectacular skies. The sun dipped below the mountains, setting the blowing snow ablaze.

Snow billowing off nearby peaks glowed like gold dust.

Then, our world turned purple - the sky, the snow, and even the grass.

After the purple, gold took over. I've walked this trail a thousand times but it's never looked golden like this in the past.

The show ended as the cloud bank over my head caught fire against the eggshell blue sky.

What did those skies whisper to me? Chase your dreams but within reason. Figure out what you love and hold onto it. This message feels especially poignant these days as I'm scared by my spine's rebellion and by the frown that I saw on my PT's face as she examined me. "Not good" - her expressive face told me. So, I'll keep doing what I love and realizing how tenuous life is. Each day is worth savoring. K and R remind me of that every single day.

Better to live fully with some risk than to let life pass by.

PS Your comments about our pepper spray incident left me laughing out loud! Thanks for the grins. We're still battling the spray and residue. All windows and doors are open and fans are running - with a 30 degree temperature outside (and inside)!