A Brighter Tomorrow

Today is the solstice, the darkest day of the year. However, the sunrise light was gorgeous. It was filtered through purple clouds, rendering it rose-colored.

It's been a rough few days. I found out, for sure, that I must have surgery on my shoulder. They need to remove a piece of my collarbone that is hopelessly degenerated, probably caused, at least in part, by the problems in my neck. One nerve that's being pinched in my neck has caused the muscles around my shoulder to spasm literally for years on end. There's no doubt in my mind that the spasms contributed to this shoulder problem.

I still have to figure out whether my neck needs surgery too so there are more appointments before I can finalize the shoulder surgery plans. This will be my 11th major surgery so I know the drill. I even know the emotional stages that I go through before surgery: anger, sadness, acceptance, defiance and determination, and finally a calm courage. Right now, I'm somewhere in the anger-sadness stage although I am fully aware that my life is easy compared to what some people are facing.

In that early stage before surgery, I get out into the forest with my dogs as much as I possibly can, trying to pedal my way to acceptance. There's something almost meditative about pedaling that helps my mind to unconsciously work through difficult things. It helps me to see the golden lining in the darkness.

On this morning's meditative ride, we saw the Runner and R. R stopped to frolic with Shyla. It made me smile and even chuckle.

Now we start the longest night of the year. Here in the Colorado mountains, it looks like it's going to snow, at least a little.

Life will start to brighten tomorrow both in the natural world and in my soul.