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Friday, January 1, 2016

The Darkness and the Light

I awakened bright and early to 2016, to see the first sunrise of the year with my Shyla.

I had my mother on my mind as we watched the sunrise. This January, it is 28 years since she died. If I live another couple of months, I will have lived longer than she did. She taught me so much and gave me so much love. I wish that I could have known at least another 28 years of that love.

As I watched the sun gradually brighten the world, I felt the pull between the darkness and brightness of life. Although I, like so many, hold sorrow in my heart, I still see the beauty and the brightness of life. I think that's why I love sunrise so much - it shows, in an artistic way, how the sunlight casts happy rays into what looks like a dark foreboding forest.

Then, we rode up to Hug Hill. The sheer difficulty of propelling the huge bike tires through loose snow stopped my brooding. There was no room in my brain for anything but the effort I was putting out and keeping an eye on Shyla.

Shyla and I gazed at the bluebird sky and snowy white mountains. I took some deep breaths of the frigid air, and I felt so very alive. I love these mountains.
When we arrived home, I found out that one of my mother's very best friends had died. Another link is gone. I wish that time could stand still. Yet, it can't and it won't. I'll make the most of 2016.

Happy New Year to all of you. Let's make the most of the coming year!


  1. I know I've said to you before, "that I know how you're feeling" but again, I truly do. When my Aunt died in late 2014, the last of my Mom's siblings, and her best friend, I felt the same way as you do. We hang onto those links, because they connect us to our loved ones and are so precious. I am sorry about this loss in your life, and I hope you find comfort in your memories, and the warmth that the light brings.

  2. Yes, let's all give 2016 a run for it's money! Happy New Year from all of us!

  3. A lovely post of remembrance and light. When we pass the lifespan of our mothers, it is with some trepidation, I think. In my case, I carry her memory forward with love. I know you will do the same.

  4. The mountains are beautiful! I can see why you love them so much!

    Happy New Year! <3

  5. Mothers are such a special part of our lives. Don't we all wish we could keep them with us forever! So sorry about your mother's friend.

    Beautiful photos - may 2016 bring lots of beautiful light to you and family.

  6. Losing mothers is a tough thing especially as we get older and can identify more with where they were in life. The bad thing about longevity is seeing so many others leave us. We just have to live with the cycle of life, even when it hurts. BTW, we love that last photo!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  7. I am so sorry you lost your friend...your link to your mom. I miss mine every single day. I hope the mountains will help you in the healing process.

  8. Deaarest KB
    We also understand that empty feeling that comes upon us when we recognize an anniversary date of loosing a mother. And then yet again when friends are gone also- that were connected our moms.
    Yes we understand, and we are sorry for your loss.

    Today we were looking on the internet at Solstice stuff,,, and guess what we found? We found one of your posts,,, maybe from 2013,,,, and it was soooo beautiful.. and it was so YOU, and we were overjoyed to be able to re-read your zest for life,, and your love of the mountains.

  9. It felt very strange to me when I reached an age older than my mother was when she died. And yet, hardly a day goes by that something doesn't remind me of her, especially around the holidays.

    Happy New Year and best of luck to all of you.

  10. I love the way you view the world and the cycle of life, with grief but great respect. So many of those who have gone before around us, an echo of taps, the smell of smoke. But sometimes, an echo is enough.

  11. Your Mom would be VERY proud of you and I'm sure she's keeping a close watch over you.

  12. A new year is always a great time to remember the good things in your life.

    Wishing you a very Happy New Year full of good health, peace, and lots of treats!


  13. Every day when I sew, I think of my Mum, first with a treadle machine, then Dad put a motor on it, then the first Bernina in our family, and when Mum could not sew any more, I received this. I traded it in, that one is still working, but I do wish she could see my machine now, what a marvel it is, and my quilting.
    Light and dark so true. Let happy memories be with us all in 2016.

  14. I am so sorry about your mom's friend and your mom, KB. Moms are such special people and I treasure mine every single day. Hugs to you♥

  15. Hari OM
    I do hope that 2016 brings you all the joy of such sunrises each and every day, with remembrances held close but painlessly. Finding healing in the arrival of light is surely one of the strongest medicines. Blessings to you and R and Shyla as you start a fresh year together. Hugs (and wags!) YAM xx

  16. In Japan, there is special significance to watching the first sunrise of the year, "Hatsu Hi-no-De." Sadly, we were not able to see it this year as it was very cloudy. Nice to enjoy yours instead.

    We wish you a very good 2016.

  17. I'm with you on sunrises. What a way to start the day. You seem to make the most of every single moment and I have the feeling it will continue in 2016. Again, you are an amazing photographer.

  18. Some of the writing I'm doing is about people who I've lost either through death or because of life changes. In writing about them, it's almost like being with them for a time through those memories. It's one of those bitter sweet things where I'm glad for the memories but I wish I could talk to them again and tell them what's happened since they've been gone. It's good to have activities that pull me out of that place and back to the present, things like your bicycling.

    I forgot to mention in my comment on other post about dog training that I found a Coursera online course on Dog Emotion and Cognition offered through Duke University. I'm taking the free version and have just started it so don't know how good it will be. So far I've done one experiment with Latte saying "Yellow" every 5 seconds for 30 seconds then sitting silently for 2 minutes and noting whether she yawned during any of that time. She didn't but yawned a little after. This is supposed to say something about empathy. I don't know what yet. Next will be an experiment about how long I can hold her gaze. Maybe I'll get closer to understanding what is going on in that busy little brain...

  19. I am sorry to hear about the loss of a family friend. Not the best way to start the year, but unfortunately life is like that. Hugs.


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