Today, Shyla and I had a blissfully normal day, after yesterday's tense trip to the veterinary teaching hospital. We got up early, and we mountain biked up high to meet the sun as it rose.
Shyla didn't get much exercise yesterday so she was ready to run this morning.
Her intensity about running is obvious in her eyes.
As I saw the scene unfolding, I asked everyone to stay still (i.e, stop walking toward Shyla), and I said that Shyla and I were going to get out of the way because the situation was definitely going to scare her. This is where I was proud of myself for really standing up for her. The people seemed a bit insulted, as if I was saying that their dogs or they themselves weren't nice. I said "I know my dog really well, and there are too many people and dogs for her to handle. Although I know that you are all very nice, Shyla will still get scared. We have to go. Have a great hike!". And we made a beeline toward our house.
Before becoming Shyla's guardian, I'd never experienced the peer pressure that almost always occurs when I say that my dog can't handle a scene involving people. The people frequently seem slightly hurt by my words. When I was still learning how to handle Shyla, I used to succumb to the peer pressure to avoid making the people unhappy. However, my instincts about Shyla's threshold for fear were usually right, and she'd suffer for my weakness.
Have others experienced this social pressure when they try to protect their cautious or fearful dog? It truly surprised me at first.
Doing the right thing for Shyla is always the best and if others can't understand then oh well. Have a fun weekend and we're hoping for more good R news.
ReplyDeleteShyla is forever thanking you for looking out for her, KB! Bless you♥
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing, mama bear :) Weren't you training Shyla to stand between your legs when in a fear-inducing situation? How has that worked? I know NOTHING about dog training, but would kneeling down by her help? On a different subject, as a photographer I thought you'd find this interesting: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/01/photo-journal-birds-paths-migration-starling/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=link_fbph20180102birds&utm_campaign=Content&sf177920466=1
ReplyDeleteYou always ask great questions. I did have her between my knees while I talked with the guy whose dog was there. And it is still working really well. However, I knew that nothing was going to work when we were basically cornered in between two groups with so many unknown people and dogs.
DeleteI absolutely love that link that you gave us! Oh my goodness - that guy is a genius. Seeing the "tracks" of flying birds is fascinating and beautiful.
Glad you enjoyed it :)
DeleteYou did exactly right. No one else will protect our dogs, it's up to us.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Shyla is lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely the right thing to do for Shyla. We have the same experience with Lightning when we encounter a biker or rollerblader or baby stroller. If I have enough advance warning, I try to move as far away from the feared item as I can and put Lightning in a sit-stay. But If I can't, I ask the person to slow down a bit. They don't always seem to understand, but I have to do what is best for my dog. On the other hand, it is so nice when one of our encounters involves someone who totally understands:)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it wonderful to meet someone who totally understands? I relax so much when I run into someone who does.
Deletei think you did the right thing. are you still doing the thing where she gets between your legs? or were there to many people to do that. maybe come up with 2 sentences that explain her fears and memorize to repeat to people who look insulted...
ReplyDeleteHaving her pressed between my knees will work to a point - but I could tell that the situation had gone beyond that point. To the rest of the world, I'm sure that the situation didn't look like a big deal but I knew that it did look very scary to Shyla.
DeleteWe also have encountered that social pressure when I remove Habi from a situation. Just like you, I've learned to be assertive, though it did not come naturally. Habi now* knows that I always have her back, which gives her the breathing room to relax and think rather than react. It sounds like you handled the situation fine, taking the onus (it's Shyla's issue) rather than making people defensive ("but my dog is friendly"). I've found that's the best way to defuse a situation and get the other party to cooperate.
ReplyDelete*I'm embarrassed to say how many years it took us to really get this. It's the keystone of our relationship, but it was not easy to learn. It's so easy to over-estimate the coping powers of our reactive dogs, and under-estimate their triggers. Plus that social pressure is insidious.
Chris from Boise
Hi Chris! Yes, as I read your comment, I realized that I, like you, have adopted a tactic of "It's not your issue. I know that you and your dog are nice. It's my dog's issue."
DeleteYour second paragraph is right on. You said the three key things that have affected me - a tendency to overestimate Shyla's ability to cope, underestimate how threatening a trigger might look to her, and to give into the social pressure.
It sounds as if you *totally* understand what I'm talking about! I'm glad that Habi has you.
I wonder if in Shyla's previous place, there were a lot of people who came at any one time? And she had no way to escape them. She has come so far, and you managed that so well, being assertive and gentle at the same time isn't easy. Saying YES is easier than NO. Too many at once, even I feel that way sometimes, a crowd of more than one other couple when Hugh is camping, or was camping, would be TOO many!!
ReplyDeleteHope the rest of your weekend goes well.
I think that you hit the nail on the head. I don't know about too many people but we strongly suspect that she spent all her time in a small crate. There's no escaping scary stuff when you're locked in a small space.
DeleteI agree with Hugh about camping!
People are too sensitive sometimes. You did the right thing!
ReplyDeleteI'm with H & Z...Sometimes people are too sensitive. Good job!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Shyla comes first. People who understand won't mind and others can just think what they want!
ReplyDeleteGood for you standing up for yourself. Most people you don't know with a dog don't have a clue about frightened or aggressive dogs which is the biggest problem. I think until you have a dog like that it is hard for one to believe, but we understand because we see these types of dogs often.
ReplyDeleteGood for you!
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteI agree with all before, you can be justly proud of this small achievement which has big ramifications! More power to you as the year progress!!! YAM xx
I've trained my dogs to ignore other dogs. It is important for crowded agility trials and just good in general. My dogs very rarely try to initiate a greeting with another dog. So often when out for a walk in suburbia, I'll see other dog walkers who want to let their dogs say hello to mine. They are usually quite put off when I say No.
ReplyDeleteTaryn - This is the first time that I've heard of someone doing that... but it really makes sense. It's safer for your dogs, and must make the agility trials much easier. I'm curious about how you did it? Did you simply say no from day 1 with each of your dogs so that they never came to expect that they'd get to meet other dogs?
DeleteYou are doing a great job with her
ReplyDeleteGreat job standing up for Shyla and making sure she stayed safe! People who've never had a fearful dog just don't get it. <3
ReplyDeleteyou did the right thing! Shyla is so lucky to have you looking out for her
ReplyDeletehugs
Hazel & Mabel
Catching up on your posts - Continued good vibes and prayers for your boy! And those good vibes continue for your girl. I echo everyone else's thoughts. Do not ever doubt or be led to feel like you're not doing what's in Shyla's best interest by leaving a situation. As you know, she relies on you to be her "protector and defender." And I'm sorry people don't understand and respect that. So, as you're leaving, just keep it upbeat and positive when these situations occur, and hopefully THEY and Shyla know it's all okay. If not, it's their problem, not yours.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome that you were able to control the situation for Shyla!
ReplyDeleteKZK
You did so great! People need to get over themselves. I'll never forget the time I was walking Cricket (she can be reactive to other dogs) and a woman and her dog wanted to greet us. I said it would probably be better if we didn't. The woman leaned over to her dog and said some consoling words, like the dog was devastated because it couldn't meet us. Geez, I felt like such a jerk, but I did what was best for Cricket. That's why I prefer to just walk on our own land, where we don't have to deal with anyone!
ReplyDeleteJan, Wag 'n Woof Pets
I don't have a dog (unfortunately; but if I had it would make someone in my family very very sick) and love to meet dogs. However, if someone told me that it's not a good idea because the dog has difficulty handling this or whatever reason I would respect this. I'm sure you say this in a factual way and not as an insult. What is wrong with that?
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do remember that peer pressure from the time when my daughter was a baby. I certainly didn't want everybody to touch her etc. and it wasn't always easy to stand up against some people. I can relate to your feelings - know that you did the absolute right thing!
Dog owner advocates should understand your protectiveness and for the others, who cares? Kudos for recognizing what you need to do for your girl. Gold star for you ⭐️
ReplyDeleteKB.. you have done it so right,, in everything . A big challenge,, but you did exactly the right things.
ReplyDeletelove
tweedles
Good for you, Shyla is a lucky girl, to think what could have happened to her had you not found each other. I have experienced similar many times but in a foreign language (even though I speak the language well), with rural folk it's very difficult to even try to explain. Here, mostly, a dog is a dog, not family, which is very sad. A woman was concerned about my big dog, leonberger, she had a little dog, I said he was fine, next thing I know here little dog is hanging off the leonbergers throat! Many times when I am out with the 4 dogs, I sit them down on leash to allow others to pass, but their dogs are off leash and come and harass my lot and I am the one in trouble. One day in the future, around here, I hope that people come to understand their loyal companions better. Those are the lucky ones who get out for the occasional walk.
ReplyDeleteKiersten