I did a micro-adventure with our Black Dog around sunrise a day before his death. We went out in the flowers near our house, played little games, and enjoyed each others' company. After he was gone, I knew that the photos from it were sitting on a memory card in my camera. I didn't want to look but I also didn't want to lose them. So, I uploaded them, and here are a couple of photos from our time together that day.
What they show me is that R was feeling good. He was bright-eyed and happy. In his classic way, he was finding joy in the morning even though it was a "micro" adventure and not a gigantic adventure like he often had earlier in his life.
This was the very last photo that I ever took of him. My heart is so full of love as I look at it.
The suddenness of his death has left my spirit reeling. At first, I felt angry at the universe for taking him away from us so suddenly and having it be so traumatic. I kept thinking, " Why bother to try to enjoy life? It'll just kick you to the ground."
Soon after those thoughts, our Black Dog's face came to my mind's eye. I saw his utter joy over every meal, every treat, every walk, every friend to greet, every stranger to meet, every dog to play with, and every moment that he could fill with love and joy. His legacy is having taught me that it's always worth living life with joy and exuberance. Of course, we will all die - that is for sure. But we should love as many moments along the path of life as we can. Our Black Dog did.
I think that R's spirit will guide me for the rest of my life. I will shed tears for him, and I've already shed buckets, but I will also try to live as he did.
I have the idea that I might keep Black Dog Sunday going for a while. I want to go through the photos from his whole life and remember the stories from each phase of his life. Would it make you sad for me to do that? Neither I nor our Black Dog would want that. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Because R would want me to say it: Happy Black Dog Sunday. He's watching over all of us.
Thank you for your love and support.
We love reading about dear Black Dog, memories of him are precious, so please keep posting about his life for as long as you wish to.
ReplyDeletePlease keep up your tradition I would love to see his beautiful face. And then maybe ones that we haven't seen yet or that we forgotten and at this time I'm very worried over my happy black dog so bring it on
ReplyDeleteWould love to see more of R. Sundays with R were my favorites. Your pictures and writing captured him so beautifully.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing those last photos. My Tommy also looked great in photos taken the day before he died, and then he was gone. Please do continue Black Dog Sunday.
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDelete...YES! ... you see, we have loved R through you and will miss him nearly as much. To share those memories would be an honour and privilege - and the consellor in me says this would be a most appropriate catharsis, for you and for us. That last shot of R, the intensity in his eye, seems to speak, "know Love and that all will be well..." THANK YOU KB FOR BEING AN EXAMPLE OF CAPITAL 'ELL' LOVE!!! YAM xx
I've lost two dogs traumatically, and know how very hard it is to get past those last dark memories and focus on the many, many years of good ones. I'm glad you have so many wonderful photos to remind you how happy R was, and how many wonderful times you were blessed to have together. Please share them all with us - I never tire of looking at his beautiful face - and know that, wherever he is, he is still as happy as ever.
ReplyDeleteYes, I echo Bouncing Bertie!
ReplyDeleteNo doubt about it, R was a very special soul and we'll all remember his joy for life and the smiles he brought with him.
ReplyDeleteOne of my thoughts this morning was how I was going to miss Black Dog Sunday, so I hope you will keep it going in his honor. Absolutely love these pictures. Thank you for sharing him.
ReplyDeleteIsn't is wonderful that you and R had that last special micro adventure together! That last photo will be a treasure for you - the expression on R's face says, "I am so lucky to have had the life with you that I had."
ReplyDeleteWe would so enjoy more Black Dog Sundays. We think it is a wonderful idea.
KB...you said it the very best in the 2nd paragraph under the 2nd photo. Somehow R found 25 hours in each day and he enjoyed each one of them to the fullest. I agree 100% Black Dog Sunday should continue...all photos are full of life and joy and the love you two felt for each other. We all need that reminder.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Cecilia
Hugs. May his memory bring you peace.
ReplyDeleteIt is all a good reminder of why we have to cherish every moment with out loved ones because in a second they can be gone. We still include Emma in posts here and there because Mom is still not over losing her so suddenly. Almost 2 years later she gets really mad about her just dying out of the blue, and not giving us time to say good bye. You will never completely heal and will shed tears forever, but with time the good memories and all the photos will becomes such a blessing. Keeping your Black Dog Sunday going is a great way to honor and pay tribute to your sweet boy. He would love it, and I think your readers will too.
ReplyDeleteYES! please do. I need that door to close more slowly rather than being slammed in our face.
ReplyDeletesudden death is sometimes worse. because that's what it feels like. a door slamming shut.
and yet... I would never have wished him to have hurt or lingered in unknown pain and debilitation.
he died like he lived. this beautiful black dog touched my heart as none other I dare say.
and I have had dogs of my own that I treasured. but his soul was so unique. please show us all of him.
sending you much love and gentle kindness in your grief. xoxoxo
Yes, please keep posting about this wonderful black dog. While I will cry every time, it because of the love and lessons he is still teaching me. We all need some joy now and his is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing. Bless all of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these precious last moments with R. We, of course, would love to keep remembering R and all the happiness he brought to you and all of us.
ReplyDeleteWe loved your handsome R and we love seeing his gorgeous face. Please keep him "alive" as he will never be forgotten♥
ReplyDeleteMy most treasured pictures of our Greta are the ones we took the day she ate that awful mushroom. I love them because they show her huge love of life and that is what I want to always remember. So glad you had that time with R and got those pictures showing his beautiful spirit. We look forward to more Black Dog Sundays to celebrate his life and legacy.
ReplyDeletehugs
Mabel, Hilda & Mom
I think sharing his photos and your memories on Black Dog Sunday would be absolutely lovely! He was a true example of joie de vivre, a treasure we're all fortunate to have shared virtually with you.
ReplyDeleteThere are some dogs on the blogs that have so captured my heart that, yes, I cry too when they pass. There was a dog named Hamlet a long time ago at Golden Pines, then there was Sophie Doodle in Nova Scotia, and then I met and fell in love with your Black Dog, R. I never knew his name, but I knew his spirit, you are so right, there's so much we can learn from his spirit. My heart aches for you, and for the thought that is no longer with us, but then, his spirit is and will be. Yes, I would love to see his whole life here, I think it will help you too. Again, I'm so sorry.......
ReplyDeleteI can not begin to express what it has meant to me that you shared R's life with me. I felt as if I knew him through your words and photos. His spirit is a strong one. I would love for Black Dog Sunday to continue. Sharing the loss of such a magnificent dog is just as important as sharing him in life. (I think)
ReplyDeleteIt is a healing journey that I would love to share with you. Thank you KB. God bless
I wondered what you would post today, and I'm so glad you did this. R was so happy and full of life! That is his legacy to you, and I'm glad you took that perspective. I would love to continue to see him, as long as it is not too difficult for you. ♥
ReplyDeleteJan, Wag 'n Woof Pets
I didn't know R early on, so I would love to experience your early memories of him. He was such a wonderful boy
ReplyDeleteI love that boy and came here worried that it would no longer be Black Dog Sunday. Please continue the tradition, it means more than you can know. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI ditto everyone - as long as it's healing for you, sharing Black Dog Sunday with photos and stories from his joyous life would be great. Joy, no matter what, is his legacy.
ReplyDeleteAlso hope that the smoke afflicting you is starting to clear.
Joyfully (no matter what!),
Chris from Boise
I think all animals provide lessons for us if we are willing to see them, and I've always thought R has been one of your most generous and kind-hearted teachers. It's lovely that you have shared him with us, and I would be happy to see Black Dog Sunday continue whenever and for as long as you feel like posting it.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful thoughts and images. Thank you for continuing to share.
ReplyDeleteI think you should do whatever gives you comfort and happiness on your blog. Of course we'll feel sad your black dog is gone, but we will also share in the joy of his life.
ReplyDeleteLife is best lived. He did , you will.Sharing is living.
ReplyDeleteWe know he was a once in a lifetime dog. He lived, and went to the Bridge, on his own terms.
ReplyDeleteShare as you are moved to...we need more reminders of the joy and beauty around us, and R is definitely joyous and beautiful.
ReplyDelete--Jean Marie
Memories, photos a library of his life with you. no sadness at all, pure joy in sharing with you the darling Black Dog who had love and happiness every day of his life,every day. I will wait to see the story in words and pics.XXXX
ReplyDeleteWhat a loving and special last outing. Photos of Black Dog will be welcomed any time you care to share them. 💙
ReplyDeleteMomma has some similar pictures of our angel Scribbles's final mini-adventure the night before he passed. They made her cry for a long time but now she says she just treasures having that last memory that's so much nicer than remembering the next day.
ReplyDeleteWe loved R.
ReplyDeletePlease keep his memory alive with the storys.
Tears are falling as I write this,, so many tears.
I'm so sorry that your beautiful black dog is gone. He sure left a big hole in your heart. He was a happy dog, I think, and a gently soul. I hope that the memories will eventually lift you up.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss, R will be missed. I think it is a good idea to keep his memory alive, sharing the weekly photos and stories.