The days of breakfast on the deck in the morning sunshine have begun. K loves to bask and snooze while I drink my coffee. The hummingbirds arrived about a week ago so the buzz of their wings, along with the singing of chorus frogs, provides the background music for breakfast. I can't imagine a better start to a day.
Then, I wondered... What exactly am I scared of? I know where K's health is headed, and I know that we'll protect K from suffering. I realized that I'm scared of the uncertainties about how and when her decline will happen. I'm also terrified of the decisions that we'll have to make. Will I have the courage that I need, even when I desperately want to stay together with K? And, after the ultimate decision, how will I make it through the grief? It's odd that, even when I know that grief is coming, it still hurts like hell when it arrives. Yes, I'm scared.
I think that my fear is why my back is screaming with pain today. I've managed my spine issues pretty well recently - until today.
Enough of the serious talk...(I promise to be less serious in coming days). Check out the Duo at sunset! Ahhhh.... Time to relax.