A cliff

When K was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, I titled my post "Falling off a cliff" (Dec 24, 2011). This was a photo from that morning.

K on the morning of her diagnosis

Today, we got very close to the edge of the same cliff. The radiologist was very concerned about Shyla's x-rays of her left forelimb - far more concerned than our family vet was yesterday. Indeed, he was so concerned that we have an appointment at Colorado State Vet School for a bone biopsy on Monday morning. The list of possible reasons for the "lytic lesion" on her ulna are: 1) bacterial infection, 2) fungal infection, 3) bone cancer (OSA), and 4) an old hairline fracture. The old hairline fracture option is a remote possibility, at best.

Shyla's eyes are windows into a beautiful soul

After our vet and I talked through the situation, she commented that I was far more calm than she expected after all we've been through in the past year. Well, if she could have seen me, she would've known that I wasn't calm - I was barely holding myself together to make key decisions. When "bone cancer" came on the radar screen as a real possibility, my entire body started to tremble. After I hung up the phone, I tried to sip my tea but I couldn't even lift the cup to my lips because my body was shaking all over.

As I trembled, this girl began showering me in kisses.

We will somehow get through this weekend, awaiting the Monday biopsy, just like we somehow survived all the various heart-wrenching phases of K's journey. But, I finally have to ask - why is this happening again? My vet suggested that Shyla came to us because she needed someone who would help her through this - someone with enough experience with exactly this kind of problem to know how to handle it. I don't know if that's true... but we will do our very best to help Shyla.

Some of you might remember that K had a serious bone infection and toe amputation one year before her OSA diagnosis in the same limb. So, I feel like every option on the radiologist's list is a rehash of the veterinary nightmare that K had for the last 18 months of her life. But, I also remember that those 18 months were precious and filled with love. K rose above her veterinary challenges to live joyfully. I know that Shyla will too... but I hope that the challenges are minor rather than major.

I know that today is "See Beautiful" Friday. Regardless of the circumstances, Shyla is beautiful on the outside and beautiful deep in her soul. Even if my worst fears are realized (which I still believe will not happen), I have no regrets. Shyla is a true gift.

Every day, I "see beautiful" in Shyla.

I love her for her puppy enthusiasm, her trust of me, and the growing bond between us. Here's to more puppy days... where she can look as goofy as she did today when a gust of mountain wind hit us!

Please don't worry if I fall silent this weekend. I'm not sure if I'll feel like blogging or not.