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Friday, December 1, 2017

Contemplating Life and Choices

We've had a quiet day of recovery for R (from the teeth being extracted) and PT for my spine. R is very good at finding the softest and warmest place in the house when he wants to snooze.

As always, I try to do the things that make me happiest regardless of what's going on in the rest of life. Shyla and I were out at sunrise. I find myself wondering what she knows. I've read about how dogs know about disease progression far before we do because they can smell it.

She stood on one of my favorite sunrise perches where the warm sun glow hits her and the snowy mountains are on the horizon behind her.
Although I tried, I didn't find my usual joy in life today. As of Thursday evening, I am still waiting to hear from our vet to clarify the choices for addressing the two tumors in R's abdomen. I am reminding myself that they might be benign but, given the stakes, I'm not going to assume that. I hope that I hear back soon from our regular vet so that I can schedule appointments for R.

Never is the brevity of life clearer than when we know that our pets potentially have a disease that can be quickly fatal. It makes me want to find joy in each day but that is hard so early in the progression. It feels a bit like deja vu, because K was diagnosed with cancer around the same time of year.

Thank you all for your support. I promise to find my way to happy posts soon!

25 comments:

  1. Hari OM
    It is fine to express your concerns - sharing halves and all that... sending POTP to R and huggies to the peeps who care. YAM xx

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  2. praying with you for a good report on R and for your spine to get back to normal. hugs and prayers

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  3. Praying.
    When things are so uncertain I like to
    light my favorite candle today
    we will light it for R.
    Linda and Astro

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  4. I am sending all the hugs and well wishes your way. I truly hope you get good news from the vet, soon.

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  5. Paws and fingers are crossed for R and a big hug for you, KB♥

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  6. The wait can be so hard, you want to be able to make decisions no matter what direction they take.
    Keeping you and R in our thoughts and hope for news to be good and soon
    hugs
    Hazel & Mabel

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  7. No need to make promises about happiness, my dear. We can't even make those kind of promises to ourselves. Prayers coming R's way. Our kitty Mistletoe is making his way, one day at a time, through his end of life issues. It's not easy... for any of us. But we're lucky to have each other to talk to, aren't we. Blessings upon your day~ Andrea xxx

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  8. Love, love, and more love, and much healing mojo and good thoughts for all.

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  9. Dogs and cats are very aware of illness. Your love shows through all your words today, and there is truly no need to try and hide how worried you are. Heaps of love via the " Pigeon Post" until he leaves us on Monday to go and stay with the bird rescue lady. Even a bird with a damaged wing can bring joy into our lives. R, a whole heap of love to you, as you snooze in that sunshine.

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  10. Though it's a worrying time, we wish you MANY moments of just enjoying life with the dogs.

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  11. That first photo is precious beyond words; I could look at that every day. All best thoughts and wishes...

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  12. We all send hugs your way and we hope you get some answers soon.

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  13. How very well we understand your words and your feelings. Sweet R - he looks so comfy there despite his discomfort. Lots and lots of good thoughts and sibe vibes for answers from the vet and good moving forward.

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  14. R and Mom,
    As always your photos are beautiful.
    We send you lots of hugs and purrs as you await tests and treatment suggestions. We certainly understand about quality of life. Our new motto around Manor Madi is "We 3 seniors livin' and lovin' one day at a time"! Madi will be 16 in March 2018.
    She had a very rough summer with kidney disease which caused tummy distress. We were told in August her condition was guarded. Here were are stepping into December. WE have developed a daily routine with feeding many mini meals that keep the tummy happy. She gets SubQ fluids daily and 2 pills at night to keep the tummy happy. She hasn't tossed her kibble in several months. She is eating like Missy Piggy too.
    Hugs Madi and Mom

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  15. I completely understand. It's difficult to find optimism when faced with such a scary thing. Our hearts and prayers are with you and R.
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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  16. The responsibility we feel for our animals, as well as the love, makes caring for them as they age really difficult. Just sending you peace as you wait for the results and decide what you need to do for R.

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  17. I have always had such a soft spot for R - just love his spunk and spirit. I"m sending good thoughts and hope you hear from the vet soon. Hugs.

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  18. You are so right. When our pets are in peril we realize how precious life is. I hope you can find a happy moment every day. Prayers for R and your family

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  19. Please don't about happy posts, just share what you are doing and feeling --- that's the best gift we can give one another. You are an inspiration.

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  20. We have our paws crossed for R and hope you get some answers soon. Shyla looks as beautiful as ever today.

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  21. We dont know anyone who tries harder than you KB..
    You are always looking for the rainbow.. Your always trying to live life ,, like your dogs....
    happy,,,, but its hard.
    love
    tweedles

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  22. We are thinking of you and hoping for the best. It is very hard to be joyful with a pet when you know what is going on.

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