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Saturday, December 9, 2017

Serene sunrise and then fear

The cracks in my outer shell of "toughness" started to reappear yesterday.

The day started off well, with an absolutely stunning sunrise. I was eating my oatmeal while reading the news when a glimmer of pink shined through our pine forest from the east.

I ran, and I do mean ran, to get my drone. I've become quite fast at getting it ready, doing my pre-flight checks, and getting it into the air before a dramatic sunrise fades.

The first photo was from fairly low but I love how the pond in the mid-left of the photo reflected the sky's color.

That first photo was just barely in time because the sun had peeked over the dip in the ridge to our east by the time I snapped the next photo.

As always, I had to get a view of our beloved snowy mountains, just barely visible on the horizon, bathed in pink alpenglow. I love how that pinkish hue even makes the pine forest glow.

As I said, that was the best part of the day. R seemed really "off" to me yesterday. He had a few accidents in the house, even when I was home so he could've asked to go out. I cleaned them up with the full knowledge that he wouldn't have had accidents if something weren't awry.

Then, he seemed very lethargic around mid-day. He was slow to come out for his lunchtime snack of a spoonful of yogurt, and he didn't even act happy when I asked if he wanted to go outside with me. His elbow was clearly hurting very badly. We have no idea what has caused it to flare for the first time in years. But I felt that there was something more than elbow pain hindering him.

I had a heavy heart all afternoon, fearing that I was seeing the start of a downward slide. But then, suddenly late in the afternoon, he was his usual goofy and energetic self. I am utterly confused but I'm glad that he recovered!

We go to the CSU clinic in a few days. I'm scared about it. I'm not ready for R to have cancer or to have a prognosis for his survival. I hope with all my heart that both masses in his abdomen are benign. Yes, I'm asking for a miracle.

In the meantime, I will remember the peace of this morning's sunrise. I made a video if you'd like to see the view floating above my house and rotating slowly. The world was magical. When I fly my drone, I feel as if I'm flying - and seeing the Earth from the view of a bird. It's amazing.


I hope that you have a wonderful Saturday.

28 comments:

  1. your drone is just magical. so sorry R is not doing well and prayers for the masses to be benign. give him a hug from me.

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  2. The accidents in the house are worrisome, but perhaps the removal of a BENIGN tumor may rectify that. I feel for you - I know I can barely function when I have something like that on my mind. Having a diagnosis soon will be good. Hang in there...

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  3. I am glad R improved by evening but that was odd and I would have worried too. Praying you have answers soon.

    That is a spectacular sunrise!

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  4. Hari om
    My heart aches, for what you described is what happened with my darling Jade... sending POTP with big warm hugs. YAM xx

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  5. Sorry to hear about R, it's so hard when they can't tell us how they feel exactly. And what a gorgeous sky.

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  6. Absolutely breathtaking! We are sending you lots and lots of positive vibes, R♥

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  7. A lovely post. Best wishes for you and R.

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  8. Three days to go now, and let that sunrise and those magical colours lift your heart, maybe R was just plain tired. I know years ago when I was off-colour, the area where I had surgery ached more than usual. XXXX

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  9. Dogs are like people. There are days where we wake up just not feeling like we usually do, but by the end of the day, we seem to repair ourselves and go on as usual. We have our paws crossed for R, that miracles will happen.

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  10. So beautiful! We know how quickly those sunrises and sunsets fade away so you must have acted quickly. We are so sorry R was off but glad he rallied in the afternoon. Crossing our paws for the dogtur appointment!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  11. Your video and stills are gorgeous. We're sending loads of POTP for R and hoping for an appointment that goes well.

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  12. I'm so hoping everything is ok, and you get news. I've lost a dog to cancer at a young age, it's awful and I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone.

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  13. We'll be hoping for that miracle right along with you!

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  14. Amazing shots of the sunrise and the video was just phenomenal. We hope it was just an off day for R, and that you see no more of that worrisome behavior.

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  15. Beautiful doesn't seem like enough to describe the photos and video. Paws crossed for R
    hugs
    Hazel & Mabel

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  16. So glad you had that sunrise to balance the later worry. It's very hard to not know what's going on inside R; one always assumes the worst. You may be scared about the CSU visit, but ignorance is not bliss; knowledge is power in health matters. We are sending good strong thoughts from Boise!

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  17. The sky is amazing. We're thinking about you and R, almost full time, and we're all her for you both. Hugs.

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  18. Breathtaking is fully understood when watching this video

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  19. Amazing video. I'm not often up for sunrise so THANK YOU!! Sorry to hear about your pup. If you haven't been to CSU let me reassure you that they are the best. I almost lost my 4 month old Lab/Shepherd when our vet screwed up and wanted to put him down to cover his @ss. We took him to CSU and he lived to be 16! All the best to you.

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  20. Not knowing can be the worst thing, unless knowing is the worst thing. We pray for you and that R gets his miracle. He deserves it. And you do too.

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  21. That is probably the most amazing sunrise I have ever seen!

    I hope R is OK. I definitely know how difficult it is not knowing what they are going through.

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  22. Oh, that video is just breathtaking! You knows we are all thinkin' of R and you guys and sendin' lots and lots of POTP and AireZens!!! and lots of {{{hugs}}}} and cookies...lots of cookies...and margaritas ☺
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  23. I cannot even imagine seeing that much beauty! Its so amazing to see where your drone and travel to,,, and capture all the glows! And its amazing you pull yourself up in the midst of worry,,, and find beauty to share with all of us... Thank you KB.
    Were rooting for R to get better!!!
    love
    tweedles

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  24. Hang in there. I do feel great empathy for you, that feeling that your heart is being torn apart as you watch what you feel are warning signs. You are doing everything you can do. Just love him today, as you do every day.

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  25. Beautiful video - perfect music. A moment of pure serenity in the midst of your inner storms. Paws crossed for R, may all be well.

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  26. What a beautiful sunrise. I'm off to watch your video now. Hugs and warm wishes for R.

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  27. The beauty of nature is such a balm to the wounded soul. I'm glad R snapped out of whatever was bothering him.
    I'm not saying this is why it happened with R, but when Sheba had cancer (and remember she lived two years with it!), I can remember from time to time the bad days she would have, scaring us so much that we were looking at her decline. It was such a relief when she snapped back.
    But, you know, sometimes dogs just have an off day, just like humans. Hang in there.
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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  28. I know the worry you are feeling, and I know I'm not the only one who is hoping for that "Christmas miracle" that the report will be a good one for your boy. I hope you are able to find peace and strength in the moments like the ones in your video.

    Thank-you for your kind words on the loss of Georgie. I am (of course) heartbroken at this sad loss. A part of me feels like I failed him, but I am remembering to celebrate that he was rescued, and left this life with someone who cared about him, and he was not a wandering stray.

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