When you bring a dog into your life, what does "forever" mean to you?
To me, it means "for the dog's whole life", no matter what might happen along the way. Serious illness, behavioral issues, upheaval in our life - none of those things would make me give up a dog.
Whenever a new dog comes into our lives, I have a serious "out-loud" talk with them, saying that they can count on us forever. Period.
We've had trying situations with our dogs but we never wavered in our love and commitment to them. For example, we had one Lab, Acadia, who had multiple terrible things happen to her in her later years. She lost all ability to make tears, needed major eye surgery, and then needed us to put artificial tears in her eyes every 30 minutes while she was awake for the rest of her life.
Then, Acadia's hind legs gave up on her. She had a very serious
spinal problem. Surgery was unsuccessful, and she needed a wheelchair to
be mobile. But, her spirit was indomitable. She still hiked the trails
with us, on her wheels. She'd get stuck sometimes or have trouble with
hills, but we'd help her. We learned so much about living life to the fullest from her. And our love for her kept growing through it all.
Now, we have two imperfect dogs, in everyone's eyes besides ours. R has a very serious problem with one elbow and will need a reconstructive surgery at some point. It will be his 3rd elbow surgery. He also is insanely intense, and he can't always be active enough to satisfy his intensity (due to his elbow). Despite these things, we love him more every day.
Shyla has her fears. I will admit that discovering her extreme fearfulness and resulting aloofness when I first met her truly tested the strength of my convictions about "forever". But, one friend in particular talked me through my crisis, and, as they say, the rest is history. After that crisis, I made the mental commitment to work to build a bond and to help Shyla gain confidence. In retrospect, I believe the hard work that Shyla and I did to deal with her fears helped build a very strong bond - but it took time.
Over the years, I've come to realize that many people don't believe that "forever" truly means for the whole life of the dog. (I do understand that some extreme circumstances might force a responsible owner to carefully find a new home for a pet - as a last resort - and I'm sure it's the hardest decision in the world.)
That makes me sad. I'm sad for the dogs, and I'm also sad for the people who do not choose to go through thick and thin with a dog. I think they're missing one of the best things in life - the bond that is built over a lifetime is an unparalleled gift.
i made the choice to rehome a dog once in my life - moving from wisconsin to texas in june, i found a new home for our husky as i knew the extreme texas summer heat would be very difficult for him. he was able to live a good life in wisconsin with a friend of a friend. still, it was very difficult. some days i wish i had stayed in wisconsin, too. :) and that was 30+ years ago. :)
ReplyDeleteR is super-intense in that picture! Those eyes!
ReplyDeleteThe only way I could re-home a dog is if I had one and then got a second as a companion to #1, and the two truly hated each other. It happens sometimes and then neither one has a quality of life that they deserve. In a case like that, it is a kindness to find an alternative. But moving, sickness, old age, health issues (and many more excuses)....none of those are a reason to give up on a loved one.
R and Shyla bring so much joy and love
ReplyDeletethey are well taken care of.
I had to rehome my Bull Mastiff. One of my nieces took him. I would have never of given him up. But I had to move from a house to an apt, after my husband died of lung cancer. That was 11 years ago.
It still hurts all these year later.
I like to think they are together waiting for me.
Linda
Crikey ... Mum would NEVER leave me or give me away. Well she might die I s'pose. She is a bit old but she's taken care of that too. I would go to my two legged sister. It would be hard but at least I know and love them already so I would cope.
ReplyDeleteDecisions like these are so hard, and there is always a doubt ? Did I do the right thing? Should I have made another choice? What if....??We have had 2 cats with serious health problems, one was so short, we said goodbye with huge sadness, the other went on for months, but we bonded then for the first time in her life. And each time something like this happens, we all learn, in one way or another.And, for myself, I would not have it any other way, but I do understand when someone moves, or falls ill, and the heartbreak must be more than I could bear to wonder. Hugs to you and your duo.
ReplyDeleteMy father bred, raised and trained hunting hounds; he loved them and they loved him. A special Champion dog was stolen one winter's afternoon from the kennel; six months passed, then one summers day that hound came limping into our yard; skinny and footsore. He had escaped, and traveled many many miles, through cities and woodlands, to come back "home.." When we children brought him into the house, that wonderful dog climbed up into my father's lap and we were witness to how deep the bond can be between a man and his dog.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of amazing how similar Shyla and Phoenix are and how our stories are so similar. I also went through a "crisis" with Phoenix when I first brought her home and a close friend talked me through it. We've had our struggles and difficulties but she is so worth it.
ReplyDeleteI have rehomed one dog. I was 19 and my dad had kicked me out of the house. My boyfriend's (now husband)parents kept my dog for me. They always considered him still my dog but they cared for him. I really regret that choice. I wish I had taken him with me even though I bounced around between places. I was always able to visit him and he lived with his best dog friend and they had a beautiful yard to play in. He was happy there. I just missed so much of his life. He lived to be 11 and passed away from cancer.
I would never rehome another dog now. Dogs are for life, their whole life.
It's the same in our house...no matter the problem, one home....for life :-).
ReplyDeleteI just had a conversation with my daughter-in-law tonight about this. They have their first puppy, a mini schnauzer with tons of energy. She expressed her frustration and did not realize the work a puppy took. I talked about Greta and what a handful she was, there were times I wished I could give her back, but I had made the commitment and she was mine to care for no matter what. It was so worth the time and effort, and the love we shared and bond we built was incredible.
ReplyDeleteWell said KB. Forever, through whatever comes my way with Goose (as with Pete before him). I've actually had people say things like he is so old now and needs help getting in the car, he can not hike with you any more, and so forth. Why do you adjust your life around him? WHY WHY???? Because I made a commitment, I love him, he needs me and I need him, the bind we have is unbreakable. I have, would and will do everything in my power to care for him so that he has the life he deserves. The only thing that saddens me is that Forever in a dogs life will never be long enough for me.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Michelle
Forever in our house means 'forever', too!
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteOH YES!!! when Jade prove herself to be a puppy with double dynamos inside it too a LOOOOOTTTT of patience and a lot of my less-doggy pals found reasons to stop visiting and such... but we got through that, had several wonderful 'adult' years and then came the senior years. Many felt the need to tell me I 'ought' to be having her 'put out of misery'.... but one knows one's own dog and only in her last fortnight (at 14.3 years) did I begin to think I was perhaps nursing her beyond even my own capabilities- then that final morning when she rested her nose on mine and I said told her she didn't have to stick around any more as we had said all the things we need to say to each other.
A moment I shall treasure to the end of my days, as she blinked and left.
I am resisting all pulls to take on another dog at this point now - for the very reason that I do commit 100+% and there are other factors which have to be considered. This is why I love to get my 'fur-fix' through Blogville and wonderful folks like you and Shyla!!!
Blessings hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx
Forever means forever in our house too. What a wonderful post, KB ♥
ReplyDeleteSame with us, through all our moving around our dogs have always come with us. My in-laws were a great help, keeping our terrier mix for a month when we moved from the left coast to the right. But we consider them family. It would break my heart to re-home a dog and I feel for the commenters here who faced that awful decision.
ReplyDeleteWe too believe in FOREVER! And as loving pawrents, we do adjust our schedules and lives around our fur babies. And... that's OK with me! It's well worth the reward of all the love we are given by our babies.
ReplyDeleteWell done KB!
Hugs,
Kim
I truly wish that everyone who adopted a dog would feel the same as you and me. I think of it exactly as you do. A dog is "forever" and not just when it's fun.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more that "forever" means for the whole of the dog's life...no matter what! There are dogs that will be healthy all their life and there are dogs, like me and some of yours, that will need some extra care along the way. Ma says that just makes me more special. I bet you feel the same way!
ReplyDeleteOz
Amen.
ReplyDeleteWe've made the same commitment here even though it's been a challenge. We've been adopting seniors and they come with many needs - one of them being a short lifetime with us which is sad.
ReplyDeleteWhen I brought B home, I jokingly told her she was my prisoner now and there was no escape. Just my way of letting her know she is here to stay, through thick and thin, highs and lows.
ReplyDeleteVery nice post.
Forever is forever. Since we volunteer for the French Bulldog Rescue Network we see and hear pathetic stories all the time. I'm glad mom found me. After living with my family for 5 years they didn't want me anymore. My kisses me every day and says this is your home forever and ever
ReplyDeleteEdward (& Lily)
You are such a good mom. Your pups are so lucky
I totally agree with you. Delilah is a far different dog today then she was almost 8 years ago when she first came to us. She was very aloof with people, never sought out affection. I swore that first day I would NOT be another human who failed her. It has been challenging at times, but when she rolls over and shows me her belly, asking for rubs, it's all worth it.
ReplyDeleteso weel said - we wish more people felt the same way
ReplyDeleteWe agree. Reminds me of the early years with Callie when an ACD rescue suggested that the best thing to do was euthanize her. Nope! She was, is and always will accomodated.
ReplyDeleteWe totally agree,forever means forever!
ReplyDeleteWell said. We never understood how anyone could give up their dog!
ReplyDeleteYour Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
Those who do not know the meaning of "Forever" also do not know the meaning of unconditional love.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put, blogger buddy. And spot on.
ReplyDeleteYup! Forever home means forever home. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe have always believed in forever commitments to our pets too. I couldn't have said it better myself than your last sentence.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. I will do everything reasonable to take care of them and have their needs met. Our first dog had a rare auto-immune disorder and cost us thousands of dollars to give him the best last year of life possible. I would do the same for everyone one of them.
ReplyDeleteThey are with me for life, if they like it or not! they remain with us in death, as it is my plan to keep all their ashes and when I die (hopefully not for at least another 50 years or so), we will all be spread together.
My heart is full reading this post and the comments above and I could never put all of my thoughts and feelings about it into words, so I won't try :( Yamini, you might enjoy fostering - lots of pups need care for just a little while on their journey to their furever home :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post. Forever does mean the life of the dog to me...and I realized I haven't told Macy that! So thanks for the reminder. I just leaned yesterday that Macy has arthritis in her elbow...it's causing her much pain. I'm heart broken for her.
ReplyDeletePerfectly said. Forever is forever.
ReplyDeleteI'm torn on that - I'd love to have every dog stay with the person who adopted them, but then we'd never have gotten Monty or Harlow. I don't give up on animals, and every animal I have has a forever home with us.
ReplyDeleteMonty and Harlow