A Leap of Faith

The wind and blinding blowing snow has dominated our lives over the past week. However, each morning, it seems like there's a brief calm around sunrise. Shyla and I take full advantage of it.

During the lull, she can stand tall and look confident.

And, I can feel the peace of the forest and enjoy the brief quiet and serenity. After the sunrise lull, the wind has been so strong that it's hard to stand up at times, precluding any serious thought about anything but the wind. At one point today, I'd gotten off my bike because the gusts were so strong, and the wind ripped my bike out of my hands and hurled it on the ground. Incredible.

During my ride today, I finally decided to stop all the invasive tests on my shoulder and neck - to stop all the poking and big needles - and to get my shoulder surgically fixed on Friday. My gut tells me that it's the best of my options because the downside potential is much lower than for spinal surgery. Then, as my shoulder heals and the pain from its damage goes away, I can evaluate how soon my neck needs to be fixed.

I realized, in making this decision, that I'm the only one who really knows what the pain is like. The "experts" can call for more and more tests but I can actually feel the pain and they can't. So, I decided that I needed to have trust in my own intuition, after having spent weeks weighing the opinions of a number of experts.

So, I'm taking a leap of faith on Friday. I always feel like surgery is a leap of faith because I let a team of people put me to sleep and do dangerous work on my body. I am take the leap of faith that they'll take good care of me, and that the surgeon will have a "good day".

Isn't it bizarre that, after my decision, I started wondering how I was going to get a photo for my 365 day photo challenge on my surgery day? I had to laugh at myself when I realized that was what I was thinking about. I guess it's a good distraction from the really important stuff.

In news of R, he went to the hospital to have his bandage changed today. His incision looked so good that they didn't put on another bandage. His elbow is slightly swollen and the stitches are now exposed to the air - but I think we're headed in the right direction. However, on the way home, he started salivating like an open faucet. I suspect nausea but I'm not sure. I have a call into the vet just in case...

However, overall, I think he's doing stunningly well. Smiles all around!