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Thursday, January 23, 2014

Resigned but Lucky

All week, I've felt anxious about all the curveballs that life is throwing at us. I've tried to enjoy my time outdoors with the pups and tracking wildlife, hoping that would help reduce my stress.
I enjoyed Shyla's goofiness. I love capturing moments like this one with my camera. I wonder what she was looking at!
By last evening, a small winter storm was moving in, and my stress was simultaneously spiking. My surgery date was almost here, and my gut said it wasn't the right course of action.
Overnight, as snow blanketed our world, I reached a decision in the midst of my angst. I decided to follow my strong gut feeling and indefinitely postpone my surgery.
Two things led me to make this decision. One is that my pain has felt like it is originating in my spine, and not in my shoulder, for the past few weeks. That's a big change from back when I decided to have shoulder surgery. The second is that I keep getting small infections, suggesting to me that my body isn't ready to take the leap into surgery right now.
With my gradually returning calmness this morning, Shyla and I enjoyed our playtime in the snow. She ran with abandon, despite the bitter cold that had arrived with the snow. We also found mountain lion tracks... and photos of him on multiple trail cameras! I'll save those for another day.
Now, we're lucky enough to have a warm fire crackling as I reflect on the day. I don't know what's going to happen next in my quest to reduce my pain. In fact, I feel small bit of resignation that perhaps it can't be helped without the risk of spine surgery.
Feeling resigned not the easiest place to be - but I still know that I'm lucky in many parts of my life. I love my pack, and I love where I live. And, I have a warm home on this cold night. Lucky indeed.

38 comments:

  1. I don't know know you, but I do believe we often know our bodies the best. Thank you as always for your lovely photos. Sam

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  2. Checking in on you. You're wise to follow your instincts. Love Shyla with the frosty face! It's actually been bit warmer here in Breckenridge. Take care of yourself!

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  3. i think you have to be comfortable and ready, so you'll know it when you are - for shoulder OR spine surgery.

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  4. We LUV dat you share your life wif all of us!

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae and Max

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  5. Acceptance is hard, but you know in your own heart what is right for you at this time. Love the photo of Shyla, with almost pale mauve snow!!! Enjoy the days as they dawn, time with the pack and Runner, photos galore, and the ever changing sky. Take care, Greetings from Jean

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  6. And we love you,, and know you will always make the right decisions,,
    for each and every day.
    Your happy - and that is a biggie!
    You know your body-- and your listening to what it says.
    love
    tweedles

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  7. Always trust yourself. Here's hoping you can delay the surgeries for a very long time. Enjoy the pack and the fire.

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  8. It's always wise to listen to those persistently recurring instincts, I think you did the right thing. If it feels more right later, then you can proceed at that point! Love that second photo. :)

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  9. I think you should always, always, follow your gut. I do, and it's never been wrong.
    Nola's Mom

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  10. As long as you have peace with your decision, then I think it's a good call for you! And I love these pictures!

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  11. You'll know what is right for you to do and you will know when its right!

    All of your cheerleaders say so!

    Just another one,
    Jo

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  12. Follow your instincts. You have such a fine attitude and are an incredible photographer!

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  13. As usual, your post touched my heart. Thank you so much for sharing and best wishes.

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  14. Must have snowed for a reason. Sounds like you need to check out that pain a bit more. You don't want two surgeries.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella& Roxy

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  15. That's the ONE thing I like about getting older - learning to trust my gut!

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  16. Don't normally comment on blogs but and I am using my husbands account. Feel the need to share please take a look at www.foundationtraining.com it may or may not be useful in your pain management but I believe in trying everything before the need of surgery. Also from a health coach perspective look into an anti inflammatory diet and looking into cutting out processed sugar and gluten.

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  17. Your gut is never wrong. I love being able to trust my gut. You have a lot of support which ever way you choose. And taking the time to make the right decision, makes a better decision.

    Love the one with Shyla head and two paws. Adorable!!

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  18. You did the right thing if you gut said so. That second picture of Shyla is a portrait for your wall. It's just fabulous, KB!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

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  19. Sometimes all we can rely on is our own gut reaction, for better or not. And at the end of the day, the only one who has to live with the results is ourselves; not the doctors. I think it's great that you have the confidence to change your mind when that feels like the right thing to do. Here's hoping for less pain, and more peace of mind!

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  20. I am a huge proponent of listen to your body. You will make the choice that is best for you.

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  21. KB,

    You know yourself better than anyone and any doctors. I strongly believe that all things happened for a reason.
    Happy Weekend.

    YD

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  22. Sounds like you made a wise decision. You have such a strong 'attitude of gratitude'. I hope you feel better soon.

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  23. If and when the time is right for another decision, you will know it!

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  24. I think you made the right decision about the surgery... good for you.

    I love the picture of Shyla - 2nd one from the last... her colour is so nice!

    Marilyn

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  25. That second photo is killer-cute!!!
    I think you're wise to trust your gut instinct!
    Cammie!

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  26. Stunning pictures!

    Have you tried acupuncture for your pain?

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  27. Yes, there are many things to be thankful for, and it's good to listen to yourself. Surgery is such a major undertaking ad you need to be sure it's the right thing for you.

    The second photo of Shyla is just so lovely!

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  28. That's a smart decision - you know your body best. I think you'll know when the time is right for surgery, if ever. In the mean time, you seem to have a pretty good idea of what to do to cope with the pain. You live in a beautiful place and I'm glad you get to see that beauty and be out in the Lord's creation so often!

    Gorgeous photos as always!

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  29. You gotta listen to your intuition! You'll know when the time is right.

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  30. Gut feelings are usually right. Keep warm and safe.

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  31. you have a strong intuition and you are brave enough to listen to it! you know what is right and when….
    xoxo

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  32. You have to be comfortable with the decision to go forward with surgery. Your attitude going in is very important. Follow your heart if only for a little while.

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  33. Often our guts are right on, so I think it was a good decision. Of course I don't know you, but the way you describe your pain doesn't sound like shoulder. Not that spine is any better... I hope there will be a way out of the pain for you. I love how you still find gratitude in what you have.

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  34. You are wise to follow your instincts when it comes to your body. Resigned may not be the best place but it IS better than talking yourself into something you are not sure of.

    We wish you to be free of pain but mostly we wish you a heart full of joy and confidence.

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  35. Hi Y'all!

    Pain can be referred. Chronic is the most difficult. It is beyond words, the stress.

    I am so glad you are able to enjoy such beautiful moments in your life and share them. Your readers lives are greatly enriched by your posts.

    Y'all come back now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

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  36. Great Pictures!
    You have a great pack that loves you. Take care and you will be great

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