We've been taking our evening hikes deeper in the forests, hoping to avoid all the people who have come out of hibernation all of a sudden. Meeting strangers who don't want to make friends is not among Hachi's fortes.
One evening, the fog was thick and murky. Within the forest, it was almost dark so I used a very slow shutter speed to capture Hachi in the fog. For a young dog like him, anything but the fastest shutter leaves a blur.
I wasn't feeling good that evening so we didn't go far. That was good because a mother mountain lion was a little bit up the trail from us. I believe that she gave birth to kittens in the past couple of weeks. She's been out in non-night hours, perhaps due to the stresses of taking care of her kittens.
I wrote my monthly report to our behavioral vet when the exhaustion had colored my view. Fortunately, we talk with her on the phone this week so I can explain where I was coming from.
I love our Hachi. I think that my feelings simply reflect that it's not easy living with such a damaged dog. After doing some fun stuff with him, the exhaustion washes away and I remember why I love him.
it is not easy... and there are days what are not "ours"...
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how stressful it can be when you have to be on alert at all times. You sure are a handsome boy, Hachi!
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteI don't have a reactive dog - I have a 'difficult' father. Caring is caring, no matter the patient, and it takes a lot of energy from the carer. So I get it. The compensations and positives usually do balance things out though. Hold those times dearly! YAM xx
You sure have been patient with Hachi. I know he knows you love him and that's a good thing. He's most handsome too.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day and week. Scritches to the pups. ♥
KB I know it is important to document each event good and bad for your Vet. It is very draining to have any day in and day out responsibilities for difficult situations...especially when added when one is not feeling 100%.
ReplyDeleteHugs cecilia
i really like that last shot of levitating Hachi.. so beautiful. We had 12 plus years with our reactive Jake, it was worse for us because i had no clue about all the things you do for him, and also no money for expensive doctors. I lived with anxiety and stress for all those years, which means I know what you feel. the stress got better after Cooper died, because Jake did not fight with Baby. I stopped walking with Jake because we live in a city, and i was terrifed every time we walked. After Jake died, we rescued Big Boy and one of the things we looked for was NON reactive dog... we got Big and he is the opposite, he sleeps all the time. i know you love Hachi and i do feel your pain and love for your 3 pups
ReplyDeleteIt can be draining to live in a situation like you are with the dogs. Just know that you are doing the best you can with Hachi and keep remembering all the progress you've made. We hope that someday life will return to a more normal way.
ReplyDeleteI am struggling too. The behavioral vet gave me three medical options after Paxil didn't work: a probiotic supplement, Clonidine (so far I don't see any improvement), and Certraline/Zoloft. Lots of decisions as to which to try and in what order, and how to see if there are changes when I don't control the potential reactive events. I haven't taken Luca beyond our neighborhood and one other neighborhood on leash. I long to go for high-country hikes this summer, and Open Space all year, but haven't dared until I get this reactivity under control. He is totally stressed with other dogs and sometimes also people. His chase instinct for cars and bikes is super high. When we walk here in Pine Brook Hills, I have him on a retractable leash and put him on a heel every time a car, bike, person, and/or dog comes along. It is exhausting if there are more than just a few. I sometimes wonder if he simply needs to stay at home a lot and only walk here in our neighborhood, and give up on agility competition. And of course, I adore him......I can so relate to your experience.
ReplyDeleteI have reactive dogs too and on top of the reactivity, I have two sisters. Homeopathy and spaying one of them helped. I did not want to spay either of them (I do not breed at all) because it is healthier to leave them intact. Since we are responsible dog owners, I felt that was okay. I do have to say homeopathy has helped a lot with the reactivity too when other things like herbs and diet did not. I choose not to do any vet medication at this time.
ReplyDeleteBeing on constant alert is exhausting. While for the most part I have been able to relax some since Brut's death, there is no dropping my guard with his four kids. Chance is worse than Brut when it comes to interacting with us. He has snapped at both Mark and I. He can be very unpredictable when he is in his moods. Unfortunately, the death of Brut and Silver (dad and mom dogs) has risen all the dogs to an alpha status with the two packs and it has also gotten worse as they have aged. (I know, not what you want to hear) For the most part they are good dogs, but they still growl and show their teeth at each other. Haven't had a fight in a couple of years (cross paws), but they are still very possessive, jealous, and territorial with each other. I'm still learning how to play the alpha dog with situations with them. It is quite a challenge. And I'm tired. Some days so very tired. I feel ya.
ReplyDeleteI don't really have similar experiences with dogs to share, but I do know how those we love can be a struggle.
ReplyDeleteSending my very best wishes to you and Hachi.
Gail.
Constant caring and being alert all the time is so tiring, at least with a toddler they do have that afternoon snooze.We have had two cats who were so determined to attack one of the others, for no reason. Nothing worked, I think it was their nature from birth, maybe the instinct for survival. Hang in there, it surely will ease up at some stage. Enjoy the outdoor safe places you have right there at your back door. We have had some restrictions lifted, and shopping is now a scary occupation! !!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat you're feeling is perfectly normal, KB. The path you've chosen is hard, and can seem never-ending. It's OK to feel exhausted, to feel like Hachi is just impossible, that it's hopeless. It is so hard living with a damaged dog, and Hachi came to you profoundly damaged. These are real, valid feelings.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, it took six years to really turn Habi around. We did, finally, make it to the truly miraculous 'go-almost-anywhere, handle-almost-anything' stage, but we always remembered that despite appearances, she was not a normal dog, and for the rest of her life we managed situations with that in mind. Six years may seem insurmountable, but once we got our footing with her (about two years in, when meds, behavioral mods, management and training - and our skills all started coalescing), we started a positive spiral. Our first year was pretty much hell, but we saw the first glimmers of change, which gave us the courage to keep going. We were so fortunate that deep down, she had a resilience that we could build on.
I'm glad we journaled her entire life, as it helped us evaluate that actually good days were becoming more frequent (even though the bad moments were MUCH more memorable).
Hachi and Habi have/had different issues, and were differently damaged. I'm so glad you and the Runner have a team of professionals who can give you an objective perspective on how things are going. And I'm glad you can vent to this supportive community! Also, thank goodness for sweet Shyla. Who knew she could play such a healing role for everyone!
Big hugs from up here -
Chris from Boise
Although not to the extent(or size) of Hachi, Arty is a reactive dog...and there are days where being on constant guard can be just exhausting. Hang in there KB...
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Beth
We know you love Hachi and he loves you too. Eventually you'll get there, really.
ReplyDeleteHaving a high needs dog is exhausting. It is ok to feel that way and to still love him!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard having a special needs dog but it is also rewarding
ReplyDeleteLiving in a gated home is taxing. Always remembering who is out, who is in, fearing forgetting to gate someone. A routine is the best way to handle it. The dogs know it is their time to be behind the gate and they go almost on their own. It is not the way anyone plans to or wants to have to live, but if you want safety and have issues, it is the only way other than giving up a dog. Hang in there, it may not be forever.
ReplyDeleteI had a reactive foster once - he was fine with my dogs, but would attack any visiting dog. It broke my heart, because I loved him so. I definitely would have adopted him otherwise, but I keep my grand dog a lot, and just couldn't take on the stress. This is not nearly as difficult as with a large, strong male, but I took in a senior chihuahua from my sister two years ago (the poor thing was unwanted and neglected), and she hates cats, so now the dogs are gated downstairs, and the poor cat - who loved my other dogs and used to hang out with us all the time - has to stay upstairs alone. I feel really guilty about it :(
ReplyDeleteIt is a constant and exhausting battle living with a reactive dog. It's become second nature anymore and try as much as possible either eliminating the triggers and closely watching the body language like a hawk to pre-empt outbursts. Some days it's fine, other days, I feel so badly. Elsa (with her puppy mill history) will go after Norman especially if he tries to be close to me. He's pretty passive and immediately moves. But the other night she got him and he fought back. It surprised her and I think he hurt her a bit (nothing too serious but definitely got her attention). He is large enough that he has the potential to really let her have it so now I really keep an eye on her. At times she's fine around him but then...she unpredictably lashes out. It's a constant battle. We do the best we can and know that there will be good and bad days. You've done amazing work with Hachi. Be kind to yourself for all the progress he's made. Good luck with the behaviorist.
ReplyDeleteI certainly have no words of wisdom to share. But I can understand how frustrating it must be and I wish the best for all of you.
ReplyDeleteAt this moment, I can't remember a story about a dog we had that was reactive. I just know about the entire range of emotions and feelings that you have. And I remember and know that you keep going because you are devoted to them, and love them. Just know, that you are not alone in this journey, even though it feels that way. But so many are cheering you on, and I'm grateful and thankful that you have the "live support" of professionals that help you to hang on and keep going.
ReplyDelete