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Thursday, October 20, 2016

Trying to find joy in each day

Late autumn is traditionally a time when I want to grab time and slow it down. It feels as if the start of springtime was just yesterday. We had quite a spring-summer-fall season, enjoying the desert and high mountains as much as we could. We had a flurry of autumn outings to hike up in the alpine zone or go see the elk rut. Through everything, we were in awe of the golden leaves!
We were lucky because life was smooth sailing through the summer. Although R required extensive time each day to rehab his elbow (and still does), we were free to do as we wished.

Now, it feels like that season has skidded to a stop. And, along with it, a few things have gone wrong. Shyla's epilepsy is the biggest one, and my fractured rib is a smaller one. Epilepsy is likely to be with Shyla for her lifetime while my rib will eventually heal. As long as we can keep Shyla's seizures away and keep her quality of life good, epilepsy is just a side-issue.

We upped her meds about a week ago, and she has returned almost to normal aside from being a little more hyper in the mornings than she used to be. Before her seizures, she used to stay in bed through my breakfast and literally remain ensconced in her warm spot until I called her to go for a bike ride. Now, she's ready to go before the alarm clock goes off at 6 AM!
The Divide looks wintry!
Shyla's eagerness to get going in the morning has helped with our transition to a winter schedule. Every winter, I strive to be out for sunrise because I love seeing the sun peek over the eastern horizon. That's harder these days because my fractured rib hurts a lot in the morning so I make excuses not to get moving. However, I'm trying to plow right through it without missing out on the things that I love.

We almost saw the sunrise this morning. I saw Shyla glow in a shaft of sunlight a few minutes after sunrise. My long time friends know how much I love the winter's morning light.

The winter morning light almost makes up for the loss of the golden leaves and green grass. I do miss them!

Overall, I'd say that I'm struggling a little to get through this transition, partly because of what's happened to Shyla (epilepsy) and to me (fractured rib), and partly because I struggle with it every year. Perhaps the shorter days affect my mood too much.

So, we'll keep trucking along, trying to do the things that bring us joy. Each day is precious, and I truly know it.
I've now lived many more days than my mother was given on this Earth so each day is borrowed time in my mind. I never visualized that I'd outlive her, yet here I am! I'm making the most of it although I still miss her every day.


  1. Hugs from all of us. We appreciate the joy you all bring to us when we vist your blog!

  2. Hugs! I hope her meds continue to help her!

  3. I'm glad Shyla is helping you to get up and out in the mornings! Seeing that sunrise sounds like one of the best things you can do for yourself.

  4. My mom died when she was 53, almost 54. For the longest time I worried about making it to her age. Now I've made it past. I don't feel at all old so she must have really felt cheated to be taken so young.

  5. Hugs to you, KB. Continuing on without our moms is hard.

  6. I struggle at this time of year, too. I love fall, but when the days get shorter and it is dark earlier, it's difficult. I am sending good thoughts to Shyla and to you.

    Thank you for your kind words for Pip. We still miss him every day, but it is comforting to know others remember him fondly, too!

  7. Shorter days are the hardest thing for me. I too feel down with all the darkness. So I'm sending you hugs, and propping you up. We all need that everyday. Hug Shyla, R and your hubby. Be happy with what surrounds you.

  8. When I think of my Mom (every day), I'm aware that I've now lived 3 years beyond her age of 69 when she died. I know she'd rejoice that I can still enjoy life. I'm reading for the first time that your rib is broken - I knew you were hurting but hoped it was just bruised. Ouch! Jim's have healed nicely now - he actually went on a float camp with friends last weekend. He broke his on Sept 10 and after the first couple weeks, seemed to have much less pain. He couldn't deal with the pain meds, so kind of toughed it out after being released from the hospital. I get up before light on these months leading to winter. Maybe, like Shyla, I want as much of the day as I can grab!

  9. Even on my worst days I can find happiness in my dog's eyes. I am praying that Shyla does not have any more seizures and your rib heals quickly

  10. We send you and Shyla healing wishes and gentle hugs. We hope the meds do very well for Shyla and she will be able to fight the evil seizures. You continue to amaze us with your resilience and strength to persevere in spite of pain. Have a quiet and restful weekend.

  11. Paws crossed for Shyla....and your rib. Short, dark days always make things appear a bit worse. Just keep enjoying those sunrises!

  12. Keep on keeping on! And we keep good thoughts for all of you, Together we can make it,, right?


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