Cottonwoods in brilliant colors in a desert canyon.
I have come to realize that the overarching theme in almost all of my nature photos is that there is brilliant light in the most inhospitable places. That is a metaphor for there being a glimmer of hope even in the darkest times of life.
This is one of my favorites from the year.
A mountain lion killed a deer in a gully near our house. Our ever faithful sniffer, Shyla, found it the next morning. Most of the meat had been consumed overnight.
During the next day, a Golden Eagle claimed the carcass, much to the dismay of the Magpies who had been feasting on it. The Magpies don't give up easily, and they tugged on the tail feathers of the Golden Eagle to try to make him leave. It didn't work.
Then, the big excitement happened. A second Golden Eagle showed up. The two eagles had a kerfuffle over the carcass. One claimed it, and the other one was relegated to pecking on a leg about 10 yards away.
Please be aware that there are views of a deer carcass in this video.
Enjoy!
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Yesterday was a rough day. We have a closed gate on our driveway with "no trespassing" and "beware of dogs" signs on it. We have a very reactive dog (Hachi) , and we don't want a stranger to meet him. For the second time this week, a person opened the gate and drove down our half mile driveway that is posted with those same signs repeatedly. The guy yesterday then walked around our house looking in the windows (I was home but didn't see him).
This is home. The house will be a natural wood color by next fall but that doesn't matter so much. The land is what is really home.
I've been posting on IG (https://www.instagram.com/kb_rockies/) and FB (https://www.facebook.com/KB.Rockies/) regularly over the past year. I am going to share the photos from those posts here because some people don't do those sites.
I feel as if I am slowly coming out of the self-imposed shell. Some peace is returning.
A juxtaposition of brilliant aspens and a hovering black cloud. I soon was pelted with hail. Life is a study in contrast between the beauty and the pain.
It's been a few months since I last posted. I've been busy with lots of things, including trying to save a wetland that I think of as "Tiny's Water Hole". I found out about construction plans to bulldoze it to oblivion, and I decided that it was my calling to make a difference. Saving it is still a work in progress but I'm optimistic that it will still exist when the construction is over. I will write more about it in the future.
I've also been "working on myself". After the years of my dad's illness and several other major stressors, I found that I had a problem with anxiety. I've been working with a counselor on the anxiety, and I've also taken up meditation. I am on the road to a less anxious life but I still struggle at times.
And, alas, the construction on the house has continued. We are almost finished for this year with one more big renovation season planned for next summer. Our new house is getting closer to our vision for it. While the land has always felt like home, the house is gradually feeling more and more like home.
In addition to all of those things, I've taken the time of not blogging to work carefully on my photography. I am taking far more landscape photos now than ever before, trying to show how nature provides glimpses of brilliance even when life is hard. Here is one from about 9 days ago on a soggy, foggy, and cold day. It wasn't what I would call a "beautiful day" but the nascent autumn colors made me love it. I feel so lucky that this spot is a 1 minute walk from my door.
I have not written a "Hachi Chronicle" recently. I'll be honest - it's partly because things have not gone as I hoped. We've been working with trainers on trying to help Hachi feel okay around strangers - with the goal of him being capable of receiving vet care more easily.
Feeling some blues. One of the repairs to my shoulder from surgery four months ago has probably failed. The decision about what to do is obvious to me. No more surgery on it. This photo fits my mood.
I do know how grateful I am to have this river running past my house. Its sound and sight is so soothing.
A theme in my life over the past few years has been learning to see the beauty even when I'm scared by a storm. I'm sorry for being so inconsistent here but I've needed time. I'm finding my way but I'm not there yet. Perhaps I'll never be but I sure have learned a lot in the journey.
There's no place in the world that I'd rather be. The wildflowers are popping and the birds are singing.
As I rode my bike in the desert, I scanned the landscape. This bunch of paintbrush flowers stunned me. I saw it from a long distance, parked my bike, and headed onto the desert floor to see them closer. The red against the white sand was brilliant. It was a testament to how being present in the moment sometimes shows you the beauty in the world around you.
I've been following the biggest black bear I've seen, who I dubbed "Tiny", for years. I spotted him with a cam near my old home in April. Then, he disappeared from that area. He's an older bear so I began to suspect the worst.
I said to the Runner that I was so sad because I thought that Tiny might be gone. When I said "gone", I meant dead. Young and hulking male bears have moved into his territory near our old home. They could have fought him and killed him or simply driven him out.
Then, I said the key thing - "Isn't it odd that a bear who marks trees while sitting down, just like Tiny, has recently arrived near Lab Valley?". Bells went off in my head. Maybe the bear near Lab Valley was Tiny. I thought that the probability of that was SO low that I didn't even start comparing their images until a full day later.
At sunset in the desert, there's a hidden expanse of slickrock where we love to relax. In the distance, we can see K's Rock - which looks like a series of red rock castles from this angle. Sights like this one take my breath away.
A big male bear lumbered in front of my camera. I assumed that he was scent marking and would be on his way soon as I watched the first few seconds of video. Wrong! Next, he dug a day bed in the thick carpet of pine needles. Finally, he lay down to sleep. He spent six and a half hours snoozing restlessly.
Check out the very condensed video!
A tenacious little tree. I wonder how long it's been fighting for its life atop this wind-swept cliff. The only dirt it has is a bit of sand in a crack between the rocks.
Amazing.
We are in the midst of a May winter storm cycle. We had cement-like snow fall to the tune of about 10". It was 15°F this morning. A hummingbird in torpor appears to be frozen to the side of the house next to our hummingbird feeder. We're watching to see if he survives when he thaws. It's supposed to snow more this week amidst below freezing temperatures.
Our pups love it much more than the hummingbirds do!
I am getting stronger all the time. However, the very act of pushing the limits in terms of my shoulder and wrists exhausts the muscles. I am so happy to be in the phase of getting stronger even with the muscle fatigue exercise can cause. I have at least an hour and a half of rehab exercises to do daily.
This winter was so hard in so many ways that it's left me in an introspective mood. I meditate daily as a way of grounding my spirit. I'm feeling more calm with each passing day. That is good.
A serene moment of life with a mother mountain lion and her kitten.
Last week, I made my way to a trail camera that sits next to a seasonal stream. I was shocked to see that it was not running. Last year, it ran from when the snow melted until September. This year is different. Water is going to be of paramount importance to our wildlife. I hope that some sources keep flowing.
The animals kept flowing along their trail throughout the winter. It's a trail that is dominated by bears when they are not in dens. In the winter, it is owned by mountain lions. Many different lions walked this trail over the winter.
Check out the video to see them all.
PS I'm going to take a little blog break. Typing has recently become harder again. I'm not sure why.
I am thankful for the joyful play that our pups love. It snowed this past weekend, and the dogs were ready to romp as soon as it stopped. Shyla has cultivated this playful friendship with Hachi since he was a young pup. Their happy play fills our hearts with joy.
Last week, Shyla and I checked a trail camera that is pointed at an area where male mountain lions like to scrape. I was overjoyed to discover that a mother mountain lion with young kittens had visited the spot.
She had triplets, and they were about 4-5 months old. They are look exceedingly healthy!
Check out the video!
This week was mixed with Hachi. We had a great visit to the vet hospital. I've never seen him so relaxed in the exam room. We played games, let him explore, and did the bucket game. We were so happy with how it went!
Our trainer came to our house a few days later. We started with the treat-retreat game in a different part of the house than usual. It went well. However, in retrospect, Hachi was a bit amped - but he was very happy. He loves playing these games with our trainer.
Then, we moved to the room where we usually work with our trainer, and we tried moving her even closer to Hachi than last week during the bucket game. Last week, we had her about 2' away but in front and slightly to the side of Hachi. I was on the opposite side of Hachi, and the Runner was in front of him.
Since we wanted the trainer to possibly touch Hachi this week, we moved her so that she was almost exactly opposite me on Hachi's side. Hachi (wearing a muzzle) then needed to walk directly between her and me to lie on his mat. That was too much for him. He did lie on his mat but then he seemed to realize that he was very close to the trainer and sandwiched in the middle of three people. He reacted with a round of barking at the trainer. After that barking, our trainer moved further away but Hachi was spooked.
To end on a good note, we all took a break, and then we went back to exactly the same setup as last week. It went great. That speaks to how resilient Hachi has become. We inadvertently took him over threshold but he was able to calm down very quickly. No long term harm to his training!
Many of you know how I adore seeing Tiny the black bear. Recently, Shyla and I took a hike to check some of my cams in Tiny's territory. I was overjoyed to see that he is active and looking good! He's the only bear who my cams have seen yet. For years, he's always been the first bear to appear on my cams in springtime!
He still has that chronic hind limb injury that requires him to sit while marking trees. It looks no worse than in recent years so that's good news. He's an inspiration!
Check out the video and help me celebrate the start of springtime!
I am so thankful for Shyla, the dog with the biggest heart that I can imagine. Despite her own fear issues, she took Hachi under her wing and has loved him ever since he joined our family. Even after she is the recipient of a growl, she instantly forgives Hachi. It almost seems like she understands that his growls are motivated by fear so she's kind to him no matter what.
Shyla did not have an easy start to her life. We adopted her at 9 months old, and she was the most fearful and submissive dog I'd ever seen. It fills my heart with joy to see that her heart is healed enough for her to be able to help Hachi gradually find his way.
Alas, that is an old photo. After Hachi's aggressive behavior toward our Black Dog, we are not comfortable letting these two be free together in the house. However, they do peacefully coexist on the deck - which is a fairly new discovery. They aren't snugglers on the deck but they do hang out close to each other.
I am so grateful for our love-filled Shyla.
It is rare to see two different species meet face to face. At a junction of two valleys near our house, a bull moose was walking downhill on a path when he met a bull elk who was coming up the path. There wasn't enough room for them to pass. What do you think happened?
Check out the video!
Hachi's brain seems to have opened up to learning. Here's what we did this week.
We went to the vet hospital for a Happy Visit. Hachi was relaxed despite a big German Shepherd barking at him as we walked into the clinic. Hachi barely reacted to that dog's barking. Inside the exam room, we played games with him including asking him to do all his tricks, tossing treats all over the floor for him to clean up, playing "go say hi" where one of us sends him to touch the hand of the other one, and, of course, the bucket game. He had one vocalization at a loud voice outside the room but he was not reactive besides that. I am blown away by his progress.
Then, later in the week, our trainer worked with us. We moved our easier games to a smaller space in our house - a hallway with open areas at both ends of it. Hachi was happy despite the new location. We also had the trainer leave and return via the front door several times. She talked to Hachi, looked at Hachi, and switched between sitting and standing (when we started these games months ago, she never looked at Hachi, moved or spoke). None of these things bothered Hachi.
Then, we did the bucket game in our biggest room. We did it there because we knew that we wanted the trainer to move closer to him than ever before. It went superbly. The trainer was within 2' of him, sitting on the floor next to him. She'd say "hand" and then reach into the air near Hachi but didn't actually touch him. He didn't even give her side eye! Woo hoo!
I know that reading these reports is a little like reading about paint drying - slow progress. To be honest, I've stopped projecting into the future for Hachi. I don't think about goals on a regular basis. Rather, I look at what he can do *today*, and we work from that place. This non-goal-setting attitude is new for me, and I adopted it as a form of self-protection to avoid disappointment. Surprisingly, the change in attitude coincided with things going much better with Hachi. Perhaps it is a lesson in the power of focusing on Now.
We love our Hachi.
There's a spot close to our house in Lab Valley where an aspen grove narrows the travel route to a thin path. Many animals pass that spot and then even cross the bridge by our house despite our presence in the valley. Within our first month here, there was a mountain lion but there hasn't been another since then. However, the variety of animals since then still makes me smile.
Check out the video to find out who we share the valley with.
I'm starting to see a faint light at the end of the tunnel, and for that, I am grateful. It is 6 weeks since my surgery so things are close to on schedule. My range of motion improves day by day. I am starting some strengthening exercises. It feels so good to be on the road to regaining strength. The only worry is that I seem to have a nerve "entrapped" in the scar tissue of my surgically reconstructed shoulder. That hurts and keeps me awake at night. I am told that it should probably resolve as my range of motion returns.
I am allowed to take short bike rides outdoors. No trails or bumps or falling down are allowed. I had to smirk about the "no falling down" rule. I never plan to fall! But I am being very careful. My goal is to be able to ride on all my favorite trails this summer.
I also can pick up a camera again. I started with a little pocket camera, and I've progressed to my normal camera. I support it with my normal arm (left) and push the shutter with my surgical arm. Taking photos has made my heart so happy!
I am thankful. This has been a dark winter for me. I'm doing the work to feel better, and I am seeing results. Big smile.
The place in Lab Valley where the mother moose and her calf spent tons of time last summer turned into "coyote alley" over the winter. I love these beautiful canines, especially in the crisp winter light trotting across the snow.
Check out the video!
This week saw more progress for Hachi.
First, we had a really good visit to the vet clinic exam room. Hachi had only one minor outburst at noises in the hallway. For the rest of the time, he relaxed more than ever before. We had him do his repertoire of tricks in the room. And, for the first time, he relaxed enough to want to explore the room. He sniffed all of the corners, furniture, and veterinary equipment. I thought that his ability to explore was a huge sign of his less-stressed state of mind. He did super well when we did a mock exam on him. Afterwards, we started talking about how to introduce another person into the room. That'll be a big step.
Then, our wonderful neighbors offered us the chance to use their house for our weekly appointment with our trainer. A new setting can be tough for an underconfident dog. Hachi handled it well. He was curious about their house, sniffing and looking around. But then he settled into our normal routine. We played all our usual games, and we also did the bucket game with our trainer. This week, she was within 4' of him (it was 6' last week), playing the role of the vet without actually touching him. She said "hand" and then reached toward him as if she was going to touch him. He was fine with it!
Weeks like this one are so rewarding! We love our Hachi.
This was from one of our big snows last April. There was a big storm in the forecast for this week but, like our other spring storms this year, it seems to be petering out. While my heart yearns for true spring, I know that our huge spring storms protect us from wildfires and nourish our wildflowers. So, I am a bit sad that it's petering out.
I'm starting to think that I should not even try to post after physical therapy. I'm so tired every time that I make big mistakes. In this case, I posted the wrong video. I have fixed it. Sorry about that!
It's always fun to look back at a full season at a very popular bear marking tree. It's fun to see the big dominant bears, the female bears, and the cubs all interact with it. This one had a lot of visitors last season, and I hope that you enjoy seeing them all leave their scents upon the tree!
Our bears are starting to emerge from their dens so they will soon be marking these trees again. That makes me happy! Check out the video if you have time.
One morning recently, a gorgeous sunrise sky gradually appeared on the eastern horizon. I went to get my little pocket camera to photograph it. I stepped out into the chilling air, and a sound stopped me in my tracks. A robin was singing its heart out from the treetops. The sound of his song accompanying the brilliant sky brought such happiness to my heart.
I am thankful for every little sign of springtime and for the morning skies that delight me so often.
I've had some time to look through my footage of animals who were very close to our house in Lab Valley over the past year.
In one amazing spot, mama moose and their calves loved to hang out. Soon, it will be as green as in that video, and the moose will be as thick as mosquitos! Check out the video if you have time.
Progress with Hachi continued to be slow and steady. Our session with our trainer went really well. Hachi is mostly relaxed around her. We are working toward having our trainer substitute for me in the bucket game. You may remember that the bucket game involves Hachi focusing his eyes on the treats being held by the Runner as a way to tell us that he's ready for me to touch him. After his eyes are focused on the treats, I say "hand", and then I put my hand(s) on him. We use this game for fake vet exams, for looking at any part of him that we're worried about, and even for clipping his toe nails.
We are preparing Hachi for the trainer to participate by gradually playing the bucket game closer and closer to her. This week, she was about 6' away. After we did a few reps with me saying "hand" and doing the normal routine, the trainer started being the one to say "hand". After saying it, she reached toward Hachi but, since she was 6' away, she didn't even come close to touching him.
We will gradually move the game closer and closer to the trainer until she can reach out and touch him. That will simulate a vet examining him.
We are getting closer to our goal, one teeny tiny step at a time.
After shoulder PT today, I am completely wiped out and so sore. So, I'll simply share a photo of my sweet Shyla. She is the queen of silhouettes!
You might remember "Teeny Tiny" the bear cub from last summer. His name is based on the fact that I thought that he was the son of our biggest bear named "Tiny". He was a character right from the beginning showing independence from his mom the very first time that my cams saw him. Then, he started marking trees and stomp marking within a short time of leaving the den with his mother.
He delighted me and made me laugh all summer long. If his mother is true to her usual schedule this spring, we won't see him before she sends him off on his own prior to her participating in the May-June mating season. Don't get me wrong - I hope that we see him but there's a good chance that we won't.
So, it seemed like a fun to put together clips of his antics from last summer so we can all remember this precocious cub. The final video made me smile and chuckle, and I hope that it does the same for you!
I am thankful that I am starting to feel a bit better. I have been working hard at my range of motion exercises, and they are paying off. I can even reach my keyboard with my right hand! I can also reach my handlebars on my indoor bike trainer.
I am so fortunate to be able to get my shoulder fixed and to have an amazing physical therapist working with me. I'm also so thankful to have the Runner helping me so that I don't have to push the limits more than I should.
It still feels like normalcy is a long way off but I am doing my best to be patient. I am hopeful that I'll be able to ride to my favorite places by summertime. I don't know if I'll be able to handle rough trails on my bike that soon but time will tell. I certainly will try to be strong enough for my favorite trails! This photo was from a long fat bike ride just before I blew out my shoulder.
I'm learning to turn my photos into paintings. It turns out that painting in Photoshop (using a tablet) is really nice rehab for my shoulder.
Last fall was when I began falling behind on almost everything, even my wildlife cameras. I just ran across footage from one of my favorite sites - a leaning tree that bears love to mark and cats love to scrape below. It's intriguing to see how our biggest carnivores are drawn to the same spots.
Check out the video!
We had a week of continued steady work with Hachi. We did multiple visits to the exam room at our vet's clinic. He continued to get upset about voices in the hallway outside the room but he let his tension go pretty fast after reacting. By the end of each session in the exam room, he could hear the voices and not react. That meant that we had great practice rounds of the bucket game at the end of each session.
We also had sessions with our trainer. It is heart-warming to see how much Hachi has come to eagerly anticipate our sessions with her. He loves all the treats that he gets while interacting with her. And, this week, we made good progress on one lingering problem. That problem was that he'd be relaxed around the trainer all of the time except in those unstructured phases in between games. For example, if the trainer was playing one game with him but wanted to transition to a game outdoors. Hachi would bark at her as he moved toward the door to go outside.
We implemented something called a "pattern game" to use in the transitions. The specific one is "1-2-3". The handler (always the Runner right now due to my shoulder) says 1-2-3. He drops a treat to hit the ground in sync with him saying "3". He repeats this until we get started on the next game. I hope that this is a path toward Hachi feeling better about transitions between activities.
In between all the training, Hachi and Shyla loved playing together. I can't yet photograph them but this one was from shortly before my surgery. I am so grateful for their friendship.
It has been a week of starting to recover my range of motion in my shoulder since my surgery. However, with the work of stretching the muscles, I tend to end up in really bad pain by the evening. For that reason, I neglected this blog. I usually write my posts in the evening but I really wasn't up to it this week.
We are seeing signs that spring might be sneaking up on us. This photo is from a previous year because I can't even hold my real camera yet. I caught a glimpse of blue the other day that I thought might have been a bluebird!
Enjoy the glimpses of springtime wherever you are!
I remember the day that I took this photograph so well. We were camping high in the mountains, and our Black Dog and I got up early to visit some wildflowers. Our Black Dog was almost completely blind but he enthusiastically followed me through the unfamiliar terrain to a quiet spot. He was eager and happy, just like he always was. We lay in the grass talking and playing with treats. We both smiled.
These days, I am trying to have an attitude that is as irrepressible as our Black Dog's spirit was. He was an amazing example that I am particularly thankful for right now. The dream that I had of him a couple of weeks ago has stuck with me. He still brings me peace and happiness has my mind's eye sees him standing peacefully in our meadow.
This amazing girl is making my down time since surgery so much better. No matter what, she's by my side smiling at me.
This photo was from a sunrise earlier this winter.
Check out the video if you have time. And, when you walk past pine trees with deep layers of pine needles below them, think about who might have been marking there!
We continue to move forward with Hachi's training a teeny bit at a time. Since I last wrote an update about him, he has learned to target our trainer's hand and to play the bucket game in an exam room at the vet hospital.
With our trainer, we took advantage of a gorgeous warm day to work entirely outdoors. We started with a warm up walk on the driveway during which our trainer was handing Hachi treats as he walked behind her. Then, we moved to our deck where our trainer played the treat-retreat game with him. This is a game that they've played many times in the past. Over the past few weeks, our trainer has begun sticking her arm out to the side with her palm towards Hachi just before she tosses him a treat. The goal of this was to get him used to her making extraneous movements and to eventually have him touch his nose to her palm. At a particularly relaxed moment in the game, our trainer interjected the cue "touch" which told Hachi to touch his nose to her hand. He did it, and she gave him a treat. They repeated this several times. Hachi being relaxed enough to touch her hand was a concrete step forward!
In that same week, the Runner and I took Hachi to the vet hospital. We had reserved an exam room so that we could get him comfortable in there without being rushed. After he was acclimated to the outside of the vet hospital while wearing his muzzle, we walked him into the exam room. Unexpectedly, there were a lot of excited and happy high-pitched voices coming from the direction of the waiting room. The voices scared Hachi. He reacted by lunging toward the door and making scary barking sounds. We distracted him from the noises by feeding him almost continuous treats. He quickly calmed down and more thoughtfully listened to the voices. In that phase, we gave him treats whenever he looked toward us. After about seven minutes of simply listening and being rewarded with treats, Hachi was ready for a short bucket game. He did very well to focus on the game rather than the noises of the vet hospital. After that success, we quickly headed for the car so we could end on a good note.
For Hachi, these were big steps forward. I must emphasize that we know that this would be very slow progress for a normal dog. However, for our Hachi, it was cause for celebration. A big part of learning to rehab Hachi has been accepting that we need to move at his pace. I no longer focus on the end goal. Rather, I focus on the process and giving Hachi a good life. The goal of having a vet be able to examine him is important but I drive myself crazy if that is all that I focus on.
Because my right arm is in a sling after shoulder surgery, I dictated this. I tried to catch the mistakes but I seem to miss some funny ones every time. Also, I cannot hold a camera so the photos are from a little while ago. I am doing my best to keep moving forward despite not being able to use my right arm or hand.
It has been such a hard winter. Not only have I had three surgeries but I also lost my dad. The most recent surgery has thrown me a curveball because I cannot use my usual coping strategies. I cannot ride a bike, I cannot snowshoe hike, and I cannot even type. I have to constantly be in an arm sling, and I must absolutely avoid damage to my shoulder. Even typing is super hard because I can only use my left hand. I am dictating this post but, to be honest, dictation does not work all that well. But I have a story that I want to share with you.
The other night while I was sleeping, our black dog visited me in a dream. It was spring time, and the meadow outside our house was verdant green. A thick fog was hovering above the meadow, obscuring everything except the glow of the green grass. Then the fog parted, and our Black Dog was standing in the meadow gazing at me. He was young and physically perfect, his black fur glistening in the fog. He gazed at me with his warm brown eyes, and I was enveloped in a feeling of warmth and peace. We stood suspended in time looking at each other. Then, I started to walk towards him. Within a few steps, the fog closed around him, and I could not see him anymore.
It is time to start the recovery walk.
In my shoulder surgery yesterday, they fixed my ruptured biceps tendon but then they discovered that I'd also damaged my rotator cuff. So this is going to be a long recovery. It is really hard to live with your dominant hand in a sling and with orders that you may not use it in any way at all.
I have to admit that I am discouraged to have to face such a very long recovery without being allowed to ride a bike or pick up my camera or countless other things. But I also know that I am lucky to have had surgery so rapidly after the injury and to be on the path of recovery.
Thanks so much for all of your good thoughts.
I've not said much about my wrists and surgery recovery because a new problem has been shadowing my view. My shoulder started hurting badly back in October It's gotten worse and worse. Then, a little while ago, I made an involuntary fast movement with my right arm to avoid slipping and falling. I didn't fall but the pain in my shoulder was instantaneous and excruciating.
An MRI shows that I ruptured the tendon that attaches my biceps muscle to a spot near the shoulder. I mean *completely* ruptured it so the muscle is now untethered within my arm. I've decided to get it fixed surgically, and that will happen pretty soon. I don't know the day yet but we are hoping that it's early next week.
This has been a winter of difficult times. But, at least, I saw lots of glorious winter sunrises with Shyla. This was the view of the forest on the hillside above our house just as the morning sun first touched them. I will never tire of seeing this instant of rose-colored sunlight.
